Josh Allred's Blog

All at once?

Unlikely. No one is filled drinking water from a fire hose.

The kind of change that usually sticks is small and incremental. Day in and day out. Drip by drip.

Change makers on occasion need to be reminded to lower our expectations. I’m not talking about lowering the bar. No, our job is to help people to see, to break through false limits, to elevate and leap, to help someone change their mind, to help someone do something they never thought they could do.

Sometimes though, we confuse hope with expectations. Fill your heart with hope. Hope is what drives us to a better world. But don’t expect people to care as much as you do. Don’t expect people to follow reason (no matter how much evidence you present). These types of expectations can lead to disappointment. Disappointment derails the work.

Change is a process, not a destination.

To be clear: You are not your career.

What you do outside your job is far more important than what you do inside.

A big one.

You might have messed up again for the second or tenth time.

The thing is…

You are the actor in your play, the writer of your own story. You can choose a different narrative, right now in this instance.

Just because you had one bad chapter, doesn’t mean the story is over.

You’re a human, not a mistake.

Reciprocity is this for that. If I spend this much and you spend that much, we will be even.

Gifts are all about charity and generosity. Gifts leave a void in the recipient, an unequal balance.

The power of a gift is that they stay in motion. But once a gift stops moving, it becomes a commodity.

Commodities are accomplished through work. Work is what we do by the hour. It starts and ends at a specific time. Money is the objective.

Labor, on the other hand, is harder to quantify. Labor is what awakens the soul. It’s emotional and is generously given away.

The best gifts, the ones we remember, are full of labor. That is why your daughter’s picture that she spent hours putting together feels more valuable than a slightly bigger TV.

Gifts are what bring us closer together. They tighten the circle. They change us. Don’t stop today. Keep them moving. Continue to share that spirit. Every day.

Real generosity never goes unnoticed.

Is fake.

Real flow, first coined by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, is simply where abilities meet challenge. The blissful mental state of being fully immersed where time can feel suspended.

To experience flow, one must concentrate, be in control and emerged in action, lose self-consciousness and time, and finally, receive some kind of intrinsic award.

What we can see now is companies like Facebook working overtime to manufacture flow. It gives us a false sense of total control with what you can click or scroll but in reality you are limited to what Facebook decides to show on your feed. Click bait pulls us in and we lose ourselves and time. Finally, there are awards that feel intrinsic–a shot of dopamine with every thumbs up.

It’s clear, we are no longer the customers of social media. We are their products.

Facebook and other social media outlets are intentionally designed to keep us coming back for more. The thing is true flow cannot be manufactured. You can’t substitute the real thing–the moment of being lost in your art or skiing down a mountain or playing in a symphony.

Facebook flow, on the other hand, distracts us and keeps us from doing work that brings meaning to our lives.

Is developing the capacity to hear the songs of those who cannot now sing.

Ants achieve much with a small bit of communication. They build hills, find food and protect their queen. They can remind each other that they are not alone, that they have a job to do.

There is just enough communication to keep them from being lost.

Even with a shed of light, ants know what to do next. They don’t wander aimlessly. Neither should you. You can be a wandering generality or a meaningful specific.

I don’t receive inspiration and then write.

No, I write and then I receive inspiration.

The Muse doesn’t reward the artist sitting around waiting to be told what to write next.

Artist are explorers, finding a new path through the unknown. From time to time, a shed of light is found in that darkness.

Of course, you’re not very good when you start. Neither was Whitman, Hemingway or King.

The first draft is always terrible. Once you’ve sat down and typed something, now you can go back and make it better.

Putting pen to paper is the first and hardest step to take. One that artists choose to make every day.

But creates tension. Not the good kind of tension of putting something together that might not work. No, the kind of tension that excludes and dismisses how others perceive the world.

On the other hand, And brings two separate ideas together equally. And invites a world of possibility and creates opportunity.

“I know you are working late in the evenings but I need help with the kids.”

“I know you are working late in the evenings and I need help with the kids.”

“We need to visit your mother for Christmas but the bills are piling up.”

“We need to visit your mother for Christmas and the bills are piling up.”

“I’m sorry for hurting your feelings but I am under a lot of pressure.”

“I’m sorry for hurting your feelings and I am under a lot of pressure.”

Making the switch from But to And can make a world of difference in bridging the gap of what we say and what we actually mean.

For 20 bucks, a book can change someone’s life. What a bargain to have something year around to remind us of who we were and what we have become. If you are looking for last-minute gift ideas that are thoughtful and meaningful, here is a list of…

Books that will get you to think differently: Irresistible, Design of Everyday Things, Misbehaving, Persuadable, Master Switch, Whiplash, Coaching Habit, Illuminate, Do the Work, GEB, Rock Warrior’s Way, Self Reliance, Walden, Debt, Only Investment Guide, Blue Sweater, Linchpin

Books that will make you laugh and cry: Bride Stripped Bare, Little Brother, Windup Girl, Million Miles, On the Road

Books that are essential, ones worth reading and re-reading over and over again: War of Art, Art of Possibility, The Gift, Infinite Game, Your Turn, Start with Why