Josh Allred's Blog

We don’t flinch walking towards an automatic sliding door. We trust that as we approach the door it is going to slide open and we can walk through without delay.

There are so many things we rely on on a regular basis to work perfectly, we don’t even realize how much is automated unless it breaks. For instance:

The refrigerator will keep your food cold.

Your car will start in the morning.

The water coming out of the tap is clean.

The lights will turn on.

This email will be received by the person you sent it to.

The street light will eventually turn green.

The airplane can fly safely in the air.

Your toilet will flush.

Your heart will still beat.

Your lungs will still work.

That Earth will continue to rotate.

The sun will still shine in the morning.

That gravity is constant.

And on, and on, and on.

Everything we do, we rely on someone or something else to do it. It’s all built upon each other. And while automation has made life so much easier in so many ways, it is also scary to see where it goes. More importantly, we must remember the culture just works better when we are all in sync.

Not the shoe. No, the Greek mythological goddess of victory.

To have a winner there must also be a loser.

The source of so much of our suffering may be the drive to win. But if the game ends, what is there left to do?

We have to look for significance outside of accolades, status, and victory because those come and go.

Something to think about.

Absolutely depression and anxiety can be pathological. No question, we have plenty of data to support this. So I want to put that to the side. There is also a culture that treats these negative emotions as too pathological instead of embracing this as part of the human experience.

Too often people treat psychological distress as if it were the same as mental health concerns. But that isn’t true. It is actually the other way around. The presence of psychological distress is evidence of mental health. Meaning no one expects to not encounter distress throughout the day or in their lifetime. Distress can be severe like death, disease, or loss. It can also be smaller like being told no when asking someone to dance. It is when people react indifferently that experts begin to worry.

We need to be clear on this, being mentally healthy doesn’t mean feeling good all the time. (Sorry Kramer.) Instead, we need to ask ourselves, does the feeling fit the situation you are in? And are these feelings you are experiencing being managed appropriately?

A mentally healthy person doesn’t live in the absence of depression or anxiety.

With the mastery of writing also came to-do lists, books, shopping lists, log books, recipes, instructions, manuals, and eventually email.

All of those inventions led to something else even more innovative.

That’s how technology progresses. At first not fully understood or is underutilized and then, all of sudden, it is laying the groundwork for something we didn’t even imagine we needed.

Open up our imaginations and who knows what we will find once we pull the string.

What’s interesting about the Powerball is that you could get five out of the six numbers right and think, “I was so close.”

Of course, you weren’t.

But the story we tell ourselves is that if we play again, maybe this time you’ll win.

It’s the same when playing Blackjack or the marketplace.

Past results do not indicate what the future will become. And since we desperately want to create a predictable future we will look for evidence that isn’t there. Unfortunately, casinos, social media feeds, etc. will use that against us.

A broken clock is correct twice a day.

When you’re angry it’s wise to think about what you are projecting onto people.

While you may be disappointed, you don’t have to bring others to your level for them to understand.

Give people the chance. It’s a risk but it might be worth it.

Everyone has bad moments. We back into our neighbor’s car, we can’t find our keys, your partner wants to dump you…and it leads to bad moments when interacting with other people you. Indeed, all of us bring baggage and if we are not careful it can make us feel entitled.

Still, the professional heart surgeon pushes out the noise to operate that day. The professional cafeteria person needs to deliver 500+ lunches to hungry kids. The professional actress goes on stage–the show must go on.

The bottom line here is the teacher who snaps at you may still be a great teacher. When we take a step and see that this isn’t a “bad person” they just had a “bad moment,” we can begin to open the door of seeing things as they are.

There are plenty of Neurosurgeons who lose their car keys.

Many Rocket Scientists who can’t build an Ikea set.

Theoretical Physicists who don’t know how to swing a hammer.

Plenty of gurus who are not qualified to give relationship advice yet still do.

We should listen to experts. If they have something to say about their field of study. However, experts who comprehend how the heart pumps or string theory don’t necessarily understand decision-making. These are different skill sets. And it can cause trouble to turn over decision-making to the advice of an expert without thinking of the application for you. (Unfortunately, this is one of the reasons why people get caught in avalanches.)

Far too often, we are happy to turn over the decisions to someone else without realizing it is still our choice all along. While we may not understand how car engines work, each of us can get better at making decisions.

We can sit with tension so much better when we know it is part of the plan.

Anxiety comes when we are waiting without purpose.

They say that doctors who spend an extra five minutes with patients are less likely to be sued.

A car mechanic that goes out of their way to walk you to the back of the shop and carefully explain your options for a major engine repair will surely get better Google Reviews than someone saying, “That’ll be two thousand dollars, please.”

Explaining why you are about to knock your best friend out in a game of Risk will go better than just stabbing them in the back unexpectedly.

In reality, you may end up making the same decision without an extra explanation anyway. You might end up in the same place but taking an extra five minutes to talk about options will usually serve you well in meeting the needs of those you wish to help.

The feeling of, “I have a choice” is so helpful in diffusing any type of tension. When we spend an extra five minutes to give someone clarity and tension, we connect. And when we see each other as humans instead of just another case or number, that is when things change for the better.