“Friends don’t lie.”

A tip of the that to Stranger Things for those who watch. It got me thinking:

The reason we are let down by people is because they simply don’t meet our expectations of how they should react.

For instance, if I publish a blog post that I am really proud of but no one reads it, that can be disappointing. After all, I worked so hard to offer this gift. Yet, if no one reads it, it doesn’t change the quality of the art.

It turns out that when we get rid of the expectations of others we don’t need to be disappointed when no one shows or surprised when they do. We don’t have to let our mood be affected by those around us. We can just be instead.

A note about hope

They say kids represent the hope for a better future.

Hope is something we can point to. That if we get here, things can get better.

While it is hope that gets us through the dip, hope that sustains us when we are tired, hope that helps us persevere–hope, while necessary, isn’t the only space to live in. If we are always escaping and turning to hope, we are missing the opportunity to live in the moment now.

20% chance of rain

A recent forecast in Salt Lake said there was a 20% chance of rain in the afternoon. That afternoon a wall of rain came and went. Of course, many said, “What gives?”

Were the forecasters wrong or did we not interpret the data correctly?

The data wasn’t wrong, perhaps the meteorologist’s interpretation was off. But 20% doesn’t mean zero either.

We can’t get mad when someone is wrong in how they interpret something especially when we have turned over the decision-making for someone to decide.

You can always look it up and decide for yourself. The alternative is to live in a world where the experts best guess is sometimes wrong too.

10 good minutes is better than 60 mediocre

Every professional understands how important a first impression is. It’s the moment if someone is going to decide if they trust you, if they will give you their attention, if they are going to give you the benefit of the doubt.

So, why do people waste the first precious moments going around the room and having everyone introduce themselves?

Why are you reading off the PowerPoint when it could have been sent via email?

Why are you busy telling your story instead of sharing what you have learned along the way that can help someone else?

If you don’t have anything to say, share the floor. If you do have something to say, say it with passion.


Is the combining of two ideas that often oppose each other.

It is this and that. The suspension of one worldview and the introduction of another.

Two opposing ideas that contradict each other are difficult for anyone to reconcile.

However, we don’t have to throw out our original beliefs–at least at the moment. It’s okay to acknowledge this is what I believe and this is what I can prove. The shortcomings are the opportunity for future understanding.

Hero fallacy

It’s reinforced with every Marvel movie that heroes put on a mask, wear a cape and do some extraordinary act of courage. But that isn’t what makes someone a hero.

Few would put Jonas Salk or Johannes Guttenburg or Jacqueline Novogratz in this hero category yet there is no doubt they have made the world a much better place through their sacrifices.

What makes someone a hero is the legend that grows around someone’s story. It’s built on fantasy, illusion, and entertainment of someone we wish we could be–popular and important. We prop them up on a pedestal and memorialize them. With time, the legend grows…

Columbus was taught to me as a child that he was a hero for discovering the Americas. So much so, that we still celebrate this achievement with a holiday. Of course, he didn’t discover the Americas and now we know he enslaved and wiped out thousands of indigenous people. But the legend still grew…

Hollywood has skewed our view of what it means to be a hero. Heroes are made of the same stuff as you and me. No one is either an angel or a devil. Inside we are human and have a bit of both in us. Which story we tell, decides what category we put someone in.

Excuses and quitting

Excuses and quitting go hand in hand. If there was no excuse to quit, we would just keep going. So, the question I have when someone reaches their breaking point is:

Are you quitting because you believe all these excuses or do you want to believe all these excuses because you are quitting?