Josh Allred's Blog

Humans struggle to love each other unconditionally. It isn’t in our nature. (Actually, what’s unusual is how much we love people.)

It’s easy to love something small like a baby. But once someone has hurt us it is difficult to give them the benefit of the doubt. Deep down many of us struggle to accept that someone is doing the best they can.

How can we love people unconditionally with all the atrocity? History is riddled with horrible things. The world is full of it.

How then do you believe we can do better with the track record we have left behind?

Difficult question. This is why when Jesus said to turn the other cheek or when Gandhi led a nonviolent resistance or when MLK Jr. says “I have a dream…” or when Mandela was locked away for 27 years we listen. We listen because we are amazed at the level of forgiveness one can dig to heal wounds.

Bridges are not built with engineers. They are built with visionaries who cared about the peace that comes when the violence ends more than the hurt they felt. And not just the people that occupy the earth but the ones who will inherit it.

Syncretism is the act of combining and merging ideas. A simple example of this is American food. You could pull up Door Dash and choose between Asian Tacos or Mexican Pizza under the umbrella of “American cuisine”.

It isn’t just with food either but different schools of thought have been merging into our politics, religions, and education systems.

Because with everyone on the internet and a connected globe, you can’t be helped but be influenced by what you see. If someone is doing it better, why not do it better too?

The problem isn’t the emergence of new ideas. The problem is how receptive one is to them. Because each idea is different from what was we are used to.

To be sure of the path we have taken that has gotten us here is rigid. There are many paths that can get us to where one wants to go (and who is to say where we have ended up was the place we wanted all along). Are we really so certain about the ideas and belief systems we have adopted or could we be wrong? There are many ideas we never embrace because we are afraid of the consequence of the world we have created. Often, the choice is left to pick between one or another. In reality, the world is wide enough where both ideas are sometimes acceptable.

Because it is all created by the story we tell.

There are certainly more choices to respond to the slight that has been brought to you.

Have you considered one of those alternatives?

In the moment feels like a terrible place to be. Most of us work overtime to get it over with. Search for a way out as quick as possible.

There is an alternative: we can instead turn and face the wind. All storms are temporary and do pass.

In over your head may be where you need to be–the space that can change your life. Don’t rush it.

The skeptic is pursuable. Asking questions and looking for honest answers. Regardless of the outcome. She is willing to change her mind after meeting certain standards and criterium. The skeptic follows the science.

On the other hand, someone living in denial is able to contradict themselves. Believe two things at the same time: what they want to believe and what the consensus is. It’s no wonder why conspiracy theories thrive in our culture today. It isn’t that they didn’t exist before social media. It was just difficult to find someone on the fringe who believes in things only a few understand. Because someone in denial is not looking to change their mind but to solidify it through connection, narration, and emotion.

Nature does not judge us. It doesn’t care if you are having a bad day. Nature rains when it rains. It doesn’t decide to, it does it base on environmental factors. The laws of the jungle.

Humans, by contrast, judge everything. We cannot help but point out the odd, the weird, the different, and the inconsistencies of the world.

The biggest broadest of categories is good and evil. For “good” or “evil” is a social construct. A category or box we impose on the world. But it isn’t the actual world. Because again the world doesn’t care.

This is the space humans occupy. The space of reality and abstract. The space of physical/tangible and imaginary. We create and imagine the world things not as they are but as we are. The tension between humans is where the imagined world is not consistent with the real one. The hope is for others to see what you see. And perhaps bend the course we are on.

According to the CDC, in the 2019-2020 Flu season, it is estimated that 39 million to 56 million were infected by the illnesses, 410,000 to 740,000 hospitalizations and 24,000 to 62,000 deaths

By contrast, in 2020-2021, it is estimated that 2 million to 5 million were infected by the illnesses, 26,000 to 54,000 hospitalized and 1,500 to 4,500 deaths.

If we were to continue socially distancing during Flu season in the future and keep COVID protocols in place, lives will be spared. But there is a cost. The cost is how much inconvenience the culture is willing to accept to accommodate someone who is vulnerable. We build ramps now for those who are in a wheelchair. We slow down in school zones where kids like to play. We wash our hands before preparing a meal. We don’t double dip in community bowls.

That is remarkable. Now obviously this was the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic where social distancing, washing of hands, wearing masks, isolating were all in place. We do all these things because we care. Because the culture functions better when we can agree upon this invisible set of rules. But will we continue to wear masks? Get vaccinated? Boosted? For how long? Has it been long enough? What about the children?

All questions with no easy answers. All questions that the culture will have to decide: What rules do we want to make and what happens when someone breaks them? Is it the state’s responsibility or the markets or communities to enforce these rules?

But I think the key question going forward with COVID is What is the acceptable level of death we are willing to tolerate in our culture?

If that number is zero, we will have to isolate especially as variants continue to sweep through. If that number is millions, we can go back to life before 2020. Or maybe it will be somewhere in the middle. The tug-o-war of individual freedom and protection of the masses will continue. The Flu is something that we have lived for all our lives, we never stop to wonder before 2020 that maybe we should be masking for someone else. The conversation is evolving. What’s next will say more about what we value and prioritize the most.

The policy reflects someone’s agenda.

There are lots of things in our culture that are fake. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

It’s really intimidating to confront the wizard until Toto pulls back the curtain and it is revealed to the audience that the wizard wasn’t a wizard at all. It’s just some guy pulling on levers making a pyro show.

Of course, magic isn’t real. It’s fake. It’s just a trick. A form of entertainment. Or worst, a way to manipulate people into doing something they don’t want to do. Even Dorthy, in a moment of weakness, when she clearly sees the wizard is just a man admitting that he is pulling a con says, “I don’t believe you.”

Because humans want to believe magic is real. That is the only way magic works.

It’s difficult to believe in magic, once you see how the trick is done. Believing without evidence can be a dangerous path of self-deception to follow.

We live in an era of liberalism. Chasing of the self and individual rights.

“You are special.”

“You can do anything you set your mind to.” (Just do it!)

“Do what makes you happy.”

As a result, we run towards things that bring us pleasure and joy and stay away from the bad feelings.

Except when you survey most parents, they are not actually that happy raising kids on a day-to-day basis. Parents have to deal with temper tantrums, lack of sleep and spilled milk. Yet, most surveys come back and say it is one of the biggest sources of joy in life.

No one likes the steps it takes to climb a mountain, you do it and then reflect on the experience later.

“I’ll be happy when…” is a trap. Happiness is biological, it is environmental, circumstantial, and even financial to a degree. Happiness is measured with comparison. Happiness is a construct. A mindset. An imagination and illusion. In fact, someone in medieval poverty could even be happier than today’s billionaire. It’s certainly possible.

You won’t be happy when you get to the destination. You’ll just create a new goal to follow until the day you die.

So, what is it then that is making you happy? What is it that is going to make you get up in the morning to welcome the day? Because embracing only the pleasures of this world will only get you so far. When you can dance with discomfort, a lot of doors will open up.

Ever ask a question you already know the answer to?

“How are you doing?”

“Do you need anything?”

“Want to get out of here?”

We actually do this all the time. We really do like being in a position of authority. The world is complex and humans just don’t have the capabilities to completely understand it.

How did we get here in the first place? Frightening to think about when we are talking about it on a scale of 13.5 billion years.

We desperately look for and take comfort in stable objects. We are attracted to them. The amygdala struggles to turn off. So, when we can find ground to put underneath our feet, we take it.

Dare to ask the questions that we have no idea the answer to. Appear incompetent and be okay with what others might say. Chances are they don’t know the answer either and are listening too.