Look for the trends instead of the content.
Meaning, ignore what the other person said in the heat of the moment and instead look around the edges to see how you got here.
It’s a way to examine the system you have built together.
We get so caught up in what the other player says and does, we forget to look for the patterns, the glitches, the triggers that got us here in the first place.
The first step of getting out of a negative cycle is to see that you’re in a negative cycle. Only then can you upstart it.
Look from the outside in. Not inside out.