When you’re angry it’s wise to think about what you are projecting onto people.
While you may be disappointed, you don’t have to bring others to your level for them to understand.
Give people the chance. It’s a risk but it might be worth it.
Everyone has bad moments. We back into our neighbor’s car, we can’t find our keys, your partner wants to dump you…and it leads to bad moments when interacting with other people you. Indeed, all of us bring baggage and if we are not careful it can make us feel entitled.
Still, the professional heart surgeon pushes out the noise to operate that day. The professional cafeteria person needs to deliver 500+ lunches to hungry kids. The professional actress goes on stage–the show must go on.
The bottom line here is the teacher who snaps at you may still be a great teacher. When we take a step and see that this isn’t a “bad person” they just had a “bad moment,” we can begin to open the door of seeing things as they are.
There are plenty of Neurosurgeons who lose their car keys.
Many Rocket Scientists who can’t build an Ikea set.
Theoretical Physicists who don’t know how to swing a hammer.
Plenty of gurus who are not qualified to give relationship advice yet still do.
We should listen to experts. If they have something to say about their field of study. However, experts who comprehend how the heart pumps or string theory don’t necessarily understand decision-making. These are different skill sets. And it can cause trouble to turn over decision-making to the advice of an expert without thinking of the application for you. (Unfortunately, this is one of the reasons why people get caught in avalanches.)
Far too often, we are happy to turn over the decisions to someone else without realizing it is still our choice all along. While we may not understand how car engines work, each of us can get better at making decisions.
We can sit with tension so much better when we know it is part of the plan.
Anxiety comes when we are waiting without purpose.
They say that doctors who spend an extra five minutes with patients are less likely to be sued.
A car mechanic that goes out of their way to walk you to the back of the shop and carefully explain your options for a major engine repair will surely get better Google Reviews than someone saying, “That’ll be two thousand dollars, please.”
Explaining why you are about to knock your best friend out in a game of Risk will go better than just stabbing them in the back unexpectedly.
In reality, you may end up making the same decision without an extra explanation anyway. You might end up in the same place but taking an extra five minutes to talk about options will usually serve you well in meeting the needs of those you wish to help.
The feeling of, “I have a choice” is so helpful in diffusing any type of tension. When we spend an extra five minutes to give someone clarity and tension, we connect. And when we see each other as humans instead of just another case or number, that is when things change for the better.
This idiom came from animal performances in circuses, where some kind of large cat would jump through hoops on fire.
Let’s be clear, those types of hoops were for entertainment and objectively kind of cruel. The most famous example being TPS Reports from Office Space.
Hoops are cruel. Barriers, however, are completely different and can be good sometimes.
A barrier that separates everyone from being qualified to those who are not can be important. After all, you wouldn’t want someone to perform a root canal that watched some videos on YouTube.
Not all barriers are necessary though. We can all agree that having someone use a different drinking fountain cause of the color of their skin is wrong.
Understanding what we should embrace and which need to be torn down is a good start at opening doors of possibilities for others.
When was the moment we sold out our dreams? That we decided to start playing it safe? To not rock the boat?
It probably wasn’t a single moment but likely many. Over time, little by little, we gave in to the culture of settling.
The good news is we can make a decision now to do things differently. And over time, little by little, we can start to change.
It’s very hard to do creative acts without enough resources.
It’s also an opportunity.
While paint or money or time could be in short supply, creativity is a well that doesn’t dry up.
We can keep going to it again and again. We might not like what comes back but there’s always something you can pull.
Sometimes there is so much frustration and anger about how the world has treated each of us. We need somewhere to put it. We could simply take out the trash. Write a letter and then throw it away. Go for a run and blow some speed. Step back and then come back in a more clear fashion. Because when we don’t take out the garbage, it spills over into other areas of our lives and others have to then deal with it.
We can easily come up with many reasons why we should back off, play it safe, and not go for it.
All you need is one good reason to do it anyway.
That’s enough.
Josh Allred's Blog 