Josh Allred's Blog

“We stand now where two roads diverge. But unlike the roads in Robert Frost’s familiar poem, they are not equally fair. The road we have long been traveling is deceptively easy, a smooth superhighway on which we progress with great speed, but at its end lies disaster. The other fork of the road — the one less traveled by — offers our last, our only chance to reach a destination that assures the preservation of the earth.” — Rachel Carson

This was published in 1962. And we are here 60 years later thinking we can still take the road easily traveled. As we are all are aware, that road gets less comfortable each day. More hazards, narrower margins for error.

What are we waiting for? Is this road really all that satisfying or is it just what we are used to?

Most of us start the day with minimum expectations. After all, it isn’t every day you write your masterpiece.

Beethoven didn’t write Für Elise in one day. It was a string of many days that eventually lead to a work of art.

Your job today isn’t to write a book, but a page. One year from now, it’s a novel.

There is nothing wrong with the perception of a low bar. Just show up to do the work.

The term Sick Comedy was popularized in the 1950s. The idea is that you point out the sick aspects that plague our culture.

When the highest-paid employee for the state of Utah is the Football coach, it’s comedy.

Sometimes I have been accused of being intense or saying things that get under people’s skin.

That’s because this blog is more than teaching about resiliency. Resiliency is not about chasing bad feelings and filling them with good. The opposite actually. It’s about learning to dance in the dark. Sometimes I might say things that won’t make you happy. But much like a comic, I will always try to do it in story form.

Life can be cruel. It’s cruel that people know they are going to die.

It’s like someone telling you the ending of the story before you have sat down to read it.

And that’s why this moment matters. Because we make it count with the time we have left.

Time is in no hurry. People are.

In no time at all this will be the distant past.

Well, that depends. Is it bad that teens are arguing less with their parents, are waiting to have sex, consuming less alcohol and drugs? After all that leads to fewer teens running away, less teen pregnancy, and a decrease in drunk driving. But at what cost? Teens are feeling more scared of the world and don’t progress, we now have 14-year-olds trapped in an 18-year-old body.

It’s easy to assume that every change in the landscape must be either good or bad. But that is never the case. The full picture is a bit of both. We are too quick to identify trends as something we want more of or less because more than anything we fear change. Seeing it come like a wave, is indeed excruciating, even when we lie to ourselves about the type of wave we think it is out there on the horizon.

In Sikhism, it means to be on the path.

Each of us is on our own path.

And when we can respect everyone’s journey, we can also accept that people will come and go from our life. Even the ones we love.

Much like a dove, we must set each other free. Free of attachment and not put the burden on others for happiness.

In many religions, there is some kind of ritual that signifies losing the self and starting a new life. (Christians perform a baptism, Buddhists reach enlightenment, Hindus there is a bathing ritual, Muslims say a prayer.) That feeling of renewal doesn’t have to be a one-time event in one’s life.

It could be going to sleep and waking up. It could be having surgery and coming out the other side. It could be starting a new job. It could also be walking through a door or starting your car.

Renewal is an act of awareness. Starting today, right now, at this moment, I am going to be the person I say I want to be.

Everyone old enough knows that Santa isn’t real. We know because we can test it. We can be good all year and not have a present show up under the tree from the big guy on Christmas.

We sort of think we don’t have to explain this to our kids–they will simply grow out of it. Sparing many parents from disappointing conversations. (Of course, not everyone chooses to do this.)

Yet, there are many myths, dogmas, conspiracy theories, and urban legends that persist in our culture and thrive today. Are we hoping people will grow out of them or will someone need to tell them? Who is going to be the messenger?

Indeed, we will go to great lengths to spare the feelings of people we love. And for everyone else, we say, “They should know better.”

It’s easy to look back at history and say, “That’s weird. Someone from 2,000 years ago should have known better.” After all, people had the same capabilities as we do today–they argued, fought, had empathy, and speculated if the world would end. But history wasn’t a field of study or practice back then. Almost no one knew how to read and write (except for the debt collectors). Where could people draw back from to learn lessons? Clearly, it was stories. Myths, legends, and allegories that taught people how things are done around here.

The greatest lesson history can teach us is learning from our mistakes. We should know better. Not everyone could have access to the great libraries of Alexandria back then. Now with a click of a button, we can learn about everything we would ever want. Yet, I can’t help and open the news and say to myself, “That’s weird.”

We should know better.

Gossip. The weather. How the crops were doing. Scandal. Who was sleeping with who. They talked about threats. The tribe next door. The lion on the prow. They worried about their kids and hoped the world would be better for them. That they would have it easier than us. They dreamed. They sang songs, made art. They worshipped their gods. Some were really devout too.

In short, they talked about their problems, fears, insecurity, the state of their world, what happens when they die, how the king/mom/dad/chief won’t let them do what they want.

Really the same things as today. We just pretend that we are more sophisticated with our problems because we have degrees, economics, politics, the internet, and more technology.

It’s really the same games if you think about it. People are still very similar from yesterday to today. They want to be heard, seen, loved, want to feel safe, secure, want to be fed and clothed, they want to play and sleep and have meaning and happiness. They want peace.

No, they won’t understand what a cell phone is but the core of being human hasn’t changed much since the beginning. Perhaps, the big question going forward will be what does it mean to be human other to survive?