Month: December 2020

Difficult decisions require critical thinking.

And when we are stuck, often, we want to bring someone in the mix to help us make a choice.

Why?

If your the expert in this situation, what are we looking for?

Two things:

Reassurance

and

Someone to blame.

If I’m wrong I can shift the blame over to someone. “Why did you talk me into this?”

And because of the tension of uncertainty, we need to be told, “It’ll be okay.”

If you really are in the best position to make the call, make it. Without the narrative.

When our needs are not met, we have to focus on making them.

Which means when you lack access to say clean drinking water, someone from the village has to go fetch it. Typically, that is a young women. And since you have to say Yes to this, you have to say No to something else. Like school.

When we raise the floor, we are also welcoming in more people to be creative and inventive. Which in turn raises the ceiling.

It is estimated that 1.8 billion people don’t have access to adequate sanitation and 800 million still lack clean drinking water. For point of reference, 5 billion people have access to cell phones.

Capitalism is a miracle. But I do find it astounding that we haven’t solved something as essential as water after centuries of work. Yet, cell phones, something that has been barely around these last 40 years, are being distributed at a fanatic rate.

I suspect everyone will have a cell phone in their hand before we solve the water problem. The good news is, I do believe we will solve the water problem in my lifetime.

You can’t separate fear from courage.

Everyone who is stared in the face of uncertainty is also afraid of what is going to happen next.

If we knew we were going to be okay, there would be nothing to fear.

Because we don’t have a crystal ball, we have to trust in our abilities to overcome whatever the environment throws at us.

Attachment to outcomes lead us to feel entitled.

Entitlement effects our narrative.

We then hesitate to go all in when we lose faith on our own abilities.

If our effort isn’t 100%, we are betraying the work.

Art is work but it doesn’t care how you feel.

You are worthy to make a difference, you are not guaranteed any outcomes.

(The work is the only guarantee we got.)

Not many.

Because…

We pick schools based on popularity.

We pick jobs because of how it will look on our resume.

We pick careers because of how well it pays. (We have student loans to pay!)

And once we achieve the goal, we look around and ask, “Why am I not happy?”

Simply because of the the series of choices that lead us here.

We didn’t choose to amplify happiness but status.

And even then, making ourselves happy isn’t enough either.

When you look around and see inequality and injustice, we want to fix it.

Status doesn’t fill holes like dignity and respect.

The New York Times publishes more information in one year than all the information gathered in the 17th century.

Suffice to say, there is more information in the ether than we could ever consume. What we don’t know outweighs what what we do.

Endless possibilities and scenarios we cannot even imagine. Endless outcomes to every situation.

And yet…

Yet, the more control we think we have over a situation, the more optimistic we feel about the outcome.

But there is no control over what happens next. Only a prediction on what we think might happen.

There is no such thing as a failure, only learning experiences.

One experience on top of another.

If we can use that as a frame of reference, we can look past the faults of others and begin to see room for improvement.

When working with parents that are at their whits end with their child, I like to remind them:

48-hours from now, you will feel differently.

Emotions are always changing.

It’s unlikely the rage you are feeling in this moment will carry over into the next.

You can read a book about it. You can watch all the YouTube videos too. But until you put your butt in the seat, you don’t really know how to ride a bike.

Because riding a bike requires experience.

The first time we try something for the first time, there is apprehension and doubt. Yet, with more reps, we get a little better. We build more confidence in our own abilities.

“I’ve done this once, I can do it again.”

At Pivot Adventure, it is the same process. We can show you all the books (they are all available on Amazon). We can show you the step-by-step set of instruction (there are plenty of practices to follow) on how to become more resilient. None of that actually matters until you lean in. Without guidance, the process can take years.

You have more power than you can imagine, you just need to act accordingly.

Marriage is one of the biggest commitments one can make. I hear many say that marriage is “hard.” But this isn’t true.

Marriage is work.

The work is every day. No days off. That’s why it is a commitment.

Anyone can show up for one day but showing up day in and day out? Difficult.

Which is why we can only make so many commitments in life. Our time and attention is so limited.

Pick wisely.

More importantly…

Choose your love. Love your choice.