Month: December 2019

“I’m not much of a public speaker.”

Really?

Did you all of sudden forget to talk?

You don’t have anything to say?

It’s easy to talk to a friend. It’s easy to talk to a couple of coworkers. Why is public speaking continue to be on the top of people’s list of their fears?

Because we are afraid to be judged. That when we say something and someone hears it, we are now on the hook.

Talking is a skill. Talking in front of the masses is another. One that can be learned with practice.

The fear of public speaking probably won’t go away. So instead, we can learn to embrace that fear. Embrace that not everyone is going to agree with what you said. Embrace that you might mess up.

But remember, the stakes only feel higher when we talk to more people. Is talking in front of 20 people really all that different from 12?

It is amazing the amount of information one can consume. Really, in any form.

Audiobooks, for example, are great but books, the regular kind, have something special about them over every other form.

Books allow us space to really think about a subject.

You can blast through an audiobook in a couple sittings. Even quicker if you decide to increase the speed.

You can’t do that with a 300-page book. You have to put in the hours. Which means you have to think about the subject even longer.

Books also don’t allow you to drive or do the dishes either.

Having time to really think about something while fully immersing yourself? We don’t get many opportunities anymore to do things like that.

It isn’t how much media we consume. Rather, it is how well we consume it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in his seminal work, wrote that each and every one of us has their own genius.

And…

The world will try to pull you away from your genius.

The answer then, according to Emerson, is to trust thyself.

Two words that seem so simple. So much clarity. Trust thyself.

The world continues to reinforce what we all deep down really fear. That we don’t feel good enough. That you are not smart enough, educated enough, rich enough, skinny enough, popular enough…to make a difference.

Learning to trust in yourself and in your abilities is a skill. Something that can be practiced and get better at.

Another way to say all of this is to have more faith. Faith in a future you cannot see yet. Focusing on the action of today for a better future of tomorrow.

The world is going to find a way to suppress your voice. It’s up to you to still find a way to sing.

Thanks to the internet, we live in a culture where anyone can pick their own truth.

The problem is that one truth can derail another truth.

Why?

Because of our fear.

Fear can resist the evidence of experts and science. Fear turns a rational person into an irrational one.

That is why when we encounter information or “truth” that directly contradicts our worldview, we tend to doubt the information rather than ourselves.

When we begin to shift power and responsibility to ourselves then…

Then we open up the door of possibility.

Possibility meaning, “this might work” and “this might not work”.

Consequently, when we enable the power of outside forces, we are now susceptible to the power of others.

Human being’s greatest asset is our ability to adapt.

We can learn and grow even in the worse of circumstances.

People, society, culture can take away outcomes but they can’t take away the process of learning.

A Warrior is always learning.

There are two systems governing our behavior.

The first is the Behavioral Inhibition System—when you perceive risk, you are halted in your actions.

The second is the Behavioral Activation System—when you see a reward, you are encouraged to act.

Most of us spend our time avoiding big mountains to climb. We don’t seek out and throw ourselves into adversity very often in our post-industrial world. And thanks to the internet, we think the world continues to get more dangerous.

We want safety over discomfort. We play defense rather than play offense.

The problem is that no dream becomes a reality without Resistance. No chasm is worth crossing without first pushing through a dip.

So…

We settle and make friends with the status quo. Accepting what comes at us as business as usual.

When there is nothing to lose there is nothing to gain either.

“Just this once.”

Yeah, it’s easy for human beings to justify anything by doing something just this one time.

Except, once we have decided to do something once, we can easily justify it again.

“I already have done it once before.” (YOLO.)

Part of the problem is we don’t understand the full cost of what it is we are doing. The price of acting out of alignment with our principles is usually low the first time around (marginal).

But the tab keeps running. And, at some point, you have to answer for your actions.

It’s a trap. One that is not fully realized until you are stuck.

Profit isn’t the only metric that we need to measure in order to figure out if we had a good quarter.

You can measure the environmental impact, cultural impact, the time you spent, the relationships you’ve improved…

When we focus on one metric, it is likely to go up. As a result, we ignore the other metrics around us and so they go down.

It is impossible to focus on every aspect. We have to be careful about how we choose to measure success.

[Tip: Money is a lousy metric to measure. It’s a trap. It’s easy to think you are doing something right when you are staring at a screen of magical digits and bits.]

Collective groups of people, things and ideas are easy to find. Because human beings have always had a strong desire to share.

You make a soup you want to share it. Your neighbor needs a cup of flour, you are glad to pass some along.

That bond that comes from sharing is how we turn strangers into neighbors. Frankly, it’s what has kept us alive for so long.

Obstacles to share with the world are now virtually gone. Turning ideas into reality has never been easier.

Yet, when money is introduced into the equation, it changes the dynamics. It changes the story of the interaction we are now having.

That’s why when you go to a restaurant and pay $10 for a sandwich, no one owes anyone anything. But when your sister calls you up and asks for $200, you don’t say, “You have to pay me interest.”

Money is a story. And so are relationships. We were born to share. It goes against our humanity when we are not generous with our time and resources.