Josh Allred's Blog

Exercising the mind is not like the body. No one can see the results of studying six hours a day, six days a week. Instead of, we hand someone a diploma that’s says they did they are now competent. And we think that must mean intelligence.

The thing is about measuring intelligence, it isn’t something that can be easily measured. No matter how much we try. There is no benchmark for Emotional Intelligence. Maybe the smartest scientist in the world can’t express themselves or change a tire.

We lump intelligence into this category of books when in reality, we should be evaluating the whole.

I’ve heard that every rock on a mountain is on a journey. Just might take millions upon millions of years to reach its destination. Every once in a while, however, something breaks loose.

Patience is the key in your endeavor.

The hard part, at times, can be crushing.

The question shouldn’t be, “When is this over?” but instead, “How long can I endure?”

What are we trading now for a better later?

The thing is, we talk about this in terms of retirement. But what are we doing with this in our relationships with our families, friends, and community?

I think what we forget in the hustle is that we are trading the parts that make us most complete for the idea of security.

Confidence doesn’t come at the beginning.

It comes after the preparation.

It usually has to do with the fact that the person with a lack of compassion hasn’t faced that kind of adversity.

For instance, someone who says that “you should just not break the law” has no experience with the court system. And someone who says “get a job and work” hasn’t been without money. The examples are endless.

When we can’t visualize ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we struggle to bring empathy to our imagination. The trap we fall into is this: We assume that our efforts count twice as much than the people around us. That we are doing the best we can but others are not. Meaning we are seduced to believe the problem is others. Not ourselves.

The story we tell inform us so much of our daily decisions. And that default setting we have affects us at levels we can’t even comprehend.

For example, someone with a lot of money can still cheat on their taxes, and someone who is insufficient can become desperate. Both lead to outcomes we could never imagine ourselves doing when money is removed from the equation because that is the real power of money. It changes the story.

The bottom line is this piece of paper or a digital number on our screen feels way more like a happiness index than a currency.

Who controls who?

The tricky part to grasp about improving mental health is that often; we fall into this trap that we don’t believe we can get better. Most of the time, we are stretched so thin with the world’s responsibilities that taking the few breaks we have to work on ourselves is a really tall order. On top of that, we haven’t built a culture that is very compassionate or understanding. Think about it. Ask anyone who has been through the prison system, a parent with kids, someone with a disability, an addict, someone with trauma, a veteran, a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, a senior, someone crushed by debt…the list goes on.

Whats missing is compassion for ourselves. And once we begin there, we can then extend to others.

When we are born, we are born alone. And when we die, we die alone. No one comes with us. The thing is, we make that journey to live without any knowledge, resources, or previous experience to speak of.

We are indeed stronger than we believe we are. And we don’t give ourselves (and those around us) credit that we are resilient.

It’s the in-between that we can share.

Doors close and open. The problem is when one door we intend to walk through is shut, we panic. Because we think our options are more limited since that one opportunity is gone.

That’s a fixed mindset.

Most doors are sliding. Right next to one is usually another.