Josh Allred's Blog

Ever notice the amount of road signs out there: where to go, where to turn, when to start, when to slow down, bumpy roads, uneven paths, stay to the right, stay to the left, people at work, one way, no bicycles, no parking, reserved, handicap only, wrong way, two-hour limit, stay in your lane, u-turns only, stop.

I know you think they are there to keep us safe. But there are too many of us following road signs in our lives (school, work, debt, retirement) and then wonder, “Well, this is where I was told I would find success.”

Success is not on the map. There are no signs to follow. You have to find your own way of getting there.

It’s not about memorizing more information than the person next to you.

Nowadays, anything worth memorizing can be easily found in seconds.

It’s about how to solve interesting problems: the things you can’t look up.

Nothing we do is going to prepare us for what is about to happen.

Yet, everything we do should be preparing us for what is going to happen next.

Define what perfect looks like. Then decide what good enough is to ship it.

Too many of us are caught up in polishing the edges before we have made the product or service good enough. This is a form of hiding from the hard work. As a result, we miss our ship date.

Do the work. Ship it. Repeat.

What would you do today if you didn’t have any fear?

Would you speak up at that staff meeting? Would you make that phone call to potentially find a new client? How about that proposal that you have been working on? Is it still sitting in your drawer?

If we weren’t afraid, everyone would step into the arena. But we are ALL afraid so we settle for the sidelines. The cheap seats.

Here is the thing about fear; it is most of the time connected to what others might say about us.

There is this voice in the back of our heads that screams, “How dare you! Who do you think you are?”

It is because we all want to fit in. Fitting in means following the rules. Don’t stand out. There is no need to be brave.

Brene Brown sums it up perfectly, “I don’t want your feedback if you’re not in the arena.”

You don’t need to worry about the critics.  They are too afraid to step in the arena. You are going in knowing you are going to get bruised and beaten up.

So what are we waiting for?

In Dead Poet Society, Robin Williams said, “Avoid using the word ‘very’ because it is lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do.”

If you want to become a more effective communicator, a better spouse, parent, friend, leader, co-worker you have to control the words you use. You can start learning to control your words by choosing not to swear.

Be wary of those who particularly swear a lot. They have a harder time controlling their emotions. If you have a harder time controlling you emotions, you have a harder time controlling your actions.

Have you ever noticed those who are quick-tempered tend to swear on every occasion whether he is excited or upset?

It is because swearing can numb us from how we express ourselves. You can’t communicate peace using the same tool to express violence. People that tend to swear on a regular basis have a harder expressing in words how they are feeling. So the cycle moves from demeaning words to abusive actions.

Try going a day without swearing. Then a week. See if it makes a difference.

1. Inhale while taking a step forward.
2. Exhale while extending your back leg into a locked knee position.
3. Repeat.

The rest step will help you find rhythm. It is not the fastest way to the top of the mountain but it will likely be your best chance getting to the the summit.

No more talking. Just climb the mountain one step at a time. This is your moment. When you are tired and don’t feel like you can move, take a rest step, and then another, and another. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Find your rhythm.

No one said it was going to be easy but it will be worth it.

Jesus knew all the answers to any question and yet in the four Gospels, Jesus asked over 150 questions. Why would someone who knows all ask us questions?

It is because asking questions (even if you already know the answer) is the superior way of communication.

Four questions that can help anyone get started in becoming a superior communicator is to ask:

1. What is going well?
2. What is not going well?
3. Where are you stuck?
4. Where do you need to change?

Smart people talk about ideas.

Average people talk about events.

Dumb people talk about people.

Tucked away in a corner on 72nd and State, you will find The Barber School. From the outside it doesn’t seem like very much. In fact, it looks like any other barber shop. However, once you step inside you will be pleasantly surprised to find a large group of students learning how to create art using trimmers and clippers.

The mastermind behind this is Tim Hite. Mr. Hite (as he is affectionately referred too) has been cutting hair for over 70 years! He has studied under the best (Paul Mitchell ring a bell?) and mastered his craft over a lifetime of work. Instead of hording this gift, Mr. Hite chooses to share it. In six months time, anyone can come in and learn the art of cutting hair.

His students come from all walks of life. This tribe of misfits Mr. Hite has assembled have left comfortable jobs or come right out of high school to follow their passions. Many of these starving artists are working 80 hours a week to support their families. Just ask the students when you are on the chair, it is part of the experience. Each student has an amazing story of how they got there.

As for Mr. Hite, he wonders between chairs, saying very little. Always observing. When students need his approval, he says one word or makes one motion. Highly respected by his students, Mr. Hite has turned cutting hair into a work of art.

For customers in the Salt Lake area, it is the best bargain in town! For five bucks, you get a five-star service and a great haircut. I never leave without tipping at least that amount (the service is that good).

You can’t help but feel you are part of something special when you go down there. And you certainly can’t help but tip your hat to Mr. Hite, who could have put down the trimmer many years ago. He could have chosen not to share his gifts with the world – it would have been easy. The same can be said with all of us: we could be “just a barber” or we can be an artist. More of us need to take a page out of The Barber School’s book.

Head over to The Barber School and be part of something real.