Rowing in different directions will cause chaos on any boat. You won’t go anywhere. There seems to be a small group of the population that only cares about the chaos. We see it in voting. But you can also see it in other areas. How much time should you spend aligning these groups or ignoring them? That’s a difficult question to answer, but we go farther together in the end.
Ultimately, this comes down to focusing on:
- What we can control.
- And what we can’t control.
It is tantalizing to think we can control the uncontrollable. This also traps modern hubris. We see it in a generation that isn’t prepared for the end, holding on to hope longer than they will live forever. We also see it in the mastery of the elements. But this pitfall is masking the fact that we don’t have as much control as we believe we do, which makes it critical to control the things you can. Such as:
- How you respond to stress.
- How do you change your mind or opinion?
- What you can give instead of take.
- What actions can you take now?
The list is longer than we imagine, but it isn’t forever either. We can choose what it is to focus on—hopefully the things we can control and the acceptance of what we can’t.
Mike Tyson famously said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” There is nothing wrong with having a plan. But it is much better to have the skills to rely on when things don’t go as planned (which is most of the time).
Culture builds around systems, not the other way around. Once the game’s rules are set, we create a culture to reinforce them. Once we pull back the curtain and see that systems work overtime to nudge us in directions and spaces we don’t want to go, we can see the insidious parts. Capitalism is more than an economic structure. It’s a political one. And it is also a system of extraction. Once you see it, it’s impossible to unsee it.
Dogma is a system of self-evident truths. And what we don’t understand about these self-evident truths is the violent origins of what these systems are built upon.
It most certainly can—to a point. Being stressed about which bill to pay next and being one emergency from taking on water makes it difficult to follow your dreams and passions. Money is a tool. But more importantly, money is a story. Part of that story, for better or worse, is that money has become so central in our lives that it indeed will affect our happiness and well-being.
The standard is not defined. We can glorify what that is—being a pop star, making money, going on exotic trips, etc. But that doesn’t necessarily breed connection. I have met many who have been pigeonholeed into a life they want no part of. It can turn into a prison. I have also met some very passionate people digging for a living. There is something to be said about accepting one’s role in the culture. And another when you paint yourself into a corner.
The famous line from Indiana Jones. Understandably, when you fall into a bucket of snakes, that would freak me out, too. That’s what’s so tricky with trauma—our brains live in this moment even decades after it passed. Our decisions as kids don’t have to be the same decisions we make in the future.
We can spend a lot of mental energy denying the future that is inevitable. Or we can embrace it. Part of embracing the future though is recognizing the uncertainty of it. Which is ironic, since the only sense of certainty we can achieve is here and now.
Independence and isolation is often confused. We can be isolated from the world, free from responsibility and call ourselves independent. But independence isn’t free of responsibility. It’s hand and hand.
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