Josh Allred's Blog

Beating yourself up isn’t going to change the past.

All we can change is which story we tell.

All we can decide is here and now.

Live in the present.

Be here, now.

There’s a great exercise I like to do with my students. The first thing I ask them to do is raise their hand as high as they can. Then I ask them to raise it higher.

The point is that when we are asked to give it our all, we still end up holding something back. We are conditioned to do this with bosses asking for 110%. We do it because if they ask for more, we need to have something else to give.

Yet, we are surprised when something doesn’t work when we hold something back.

Perhaps, skip all of that. Give everything you have. Not because your boss asked you to do it. Do it because you’re a passionate person and that is what passionate people do.

A tip of the that to Stranger Things for those who watch. It got me thinking:

The reason we are let down by people is because they simply don’t meet our expectations of how they should react.

For instance, if I publish a blog post that I am really proud of but no one reads it, that can be disappointing. After all, I worked so hard to offer this gift. Yet, if no one reads it, it doesn’t change the quality of the art.

It turns out that when we get rid of the expectations of others we don’t need to be disappointed when no one shows or surprised when they do. We don’t have to let our mood be affected by those around us. We can just be instead.

They say kids represent the hope for a better future.

Hope is something we can point to. That if we get here, things can get better.

While it is hope that gets us through the dip, hope that sustains us when we are tired, hope that helps us persevere–hope, while necessary, isn’t the only space to live in. If we are always escaping and turning to hope, we are missing the opportunity to live in the moment now.

You can always tell when someone’s balance in life is off when all they can talk about is the things they can control.

This is why many can’t stop talking about work even when they are on vacation.

A recent forecast in Salt Lake said there was a 20% chance of rain in the afternoon. That afternoon a wall of rain came and went. Of course, many said, “What gives?”

Were the forecasters wrong or did we not interpret the data correctly?

The data wasn’t wrong, perhaps the meteorologist’s interpretation was off. But 20% doesn’t mean zero either.

We can’t get mad when someone is wrong in how they interpret something especially when we have turned over the decision-making for someone to decide.

You can always look it up and decide for yourself. The alternative is to live in a world where the experts best guess is sometimes wrong too.

If you care about it, it is worth doing.

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing better.

Every professional understands how important a first impression is. It’s the moment if someone is going to decide if they trust you, if they will give you their attention, if they are going to give you the benefit of the doubt.

So, why do people waste the first precious moments going around the room and having everyone introduce themselves?

Why are you reading off the PowerPoint when it could have been sent via email?

Why are you busy telling your story instead of sharing what you have learned along the way that can help someone else?

If you don’t have anything to say, share the floor. If you do have something to say, say it with passion.

Is the combining of two ideas that often oppose each other.

It is this and that. The suspension of one worldview and the introduction of another.

Two opposing ideas that contradict each other are difficult for anyone to reconcile.

However, we don’t have to throw out our original beliefs–at least at the moment. It’s okay to acknowledge this is what I believe and this is what I can prove. The shortcomings are the opportunity for future understanding.

The moments that break us are not the ones that define us.

It’s the next decision that defines, “What now?”