The complications of identity

“I don’t like this project.”

When we hear the criticism, we internalize it. We think that this means they don’t like us.

It is difficult to separate actions from our identity because we internalize everything.

When we look in the mirror, we see our flaws and imperfections. When a police officer pulls you over, they look at your criminal history. When you are walking down the street, others see your gender and your race.

The problem in a world that is constantly bombarding us to fit in, we begin to believe that we are the choices we make. But that isn’t true. We are not the job we work for. We are not our resume. We are not our paycheck. We are not the clothes we wear, the car we drive or the house we bought.

Those are choices. And choices change.

So, we have to get to the root of the problem of why when someone criticizes our work, why then are we assuming it is a problem with us. One solution is to define who we are. Because we are far more than the choices we make.