Month: September 2022

It is difficult to make objective decisions because there is no objective scale to measure where we are and where we are going. Different people and cultures define success differently. This is why we can’t agree on the direction to go. We become stuck in the same habitual patterns. Playing the same record over and over again, hoping for something different.

Humans can’t wrap their head around this. Because we want to see measured improvement. We want to juxtapose, compare and contrast. And since there is no ideal or standard, we create one for yourself. But that doesn’t make it the “right” way to live.

Your definition of correct is wrong.

That is where we are as a species. You just need to look backward to see how we got here.

However, you can’t look forward. You can only imagine it.

While it is difficult to predict what may happen tomorrow, you can examine the choices of today to get a better perspective.

If you don’t like where things are heading, look at what you are doing today. Right now.

7.5 billion people with an environment we can’t control. No wonder there is so much chaos. It is too large, too vast for anyone of us to understand everything that is going on. So, what do we do?

We shrink it.

By categorizing it, collating it, using heuristics, creating biases and prejudices, make snap judgments to fit a worldview we have created to make sense of it.

We shrink problems so they are not as complex. Use language that helps us get our arms around it. But the constant shrinking has an inverse effect–we then start treating our problems heavily. Everything feels on the line because it must be the most important thing that must be done. After all, we are all the center of the universe. We lose perspective. It is only when we take a breath and take a step back, that we can see more clearly. In the scheme of things, we need to lighten up and quit taking ourselves so seriously.

This isn’t trying to minimize people’s problems but to have the right perspective. We are all in this together. We can also do our part in alleviating the suffering of others when our burdens feel lighter.

If I mess up this sentence, I can hit the delete button and start over. If my avatar died on a video game, I can reboot it. If I missed a part of the movie, I can rewind it.

There is a difference between living in the moment and living on repeat.

You don’t stop a broadway show. It goes on. Because we are doing this once and never again will it be done after the moment passes.

Right here, and right now we are alive and all in. Embracing the success and failure that comes. If I want it done perfectly, I would just watch it on Netflix.

However…

We get caught in autopilot. Tomorrow, we have an alarm set to get up and head to work without even thinking much about it. Take the kids to school and when we get home watch our favorite television series. We forget that we have a choice in the matter. It may not be the responsible one, the sensible one, the one most would make–but you have a say in what you do.

You only get to do this once. Act accordingly.

Planning your escape does not allow you to be fully immersed.

Because when you hold something back, a plan b, you are afraid of things going wrong.

Ironically, that is when things do when we are not all in.

When you don’t have your why figured out, your how and what are out of alignment.

Why are you having this argument?

Why are you stressing about this presentation?

Why are you carrying these same storylines?

It’s Latin, meaning, “Thus passes the glory of the world.”

It’s a reminder of impermanence.

That nothing lasts forever.

If we were able to avoid disappointment, despair, loss, fear, tragedy…how then would we ever learn and grow in a constant state of getting everything we ever wanted.

Life is a juxtaposition. When we can compare and contrast it can get us into trouble (dissatisfaction) but it can also help us learn.

Learning someday turns into wisdom. Therefore, you can never know what is “good” or “bad” until you learn from this experience.

These are not real fears like running into traffic. No, these are the fears we create such as the Boogie Man or the fraud police.

We assume when we get a call from the big boss that something is wrong, not something going right. We imagine being fired and then not being able to pay the mortgage so we will end up homeless and eventually die.

We treat threats all the same. As if a sabertooth tiger is ready to pounce. But much of the things we face are invented fears. There are real risks, for sure. Driving is risky and yet we don’t put near the same thought and care getting behind the wheel as we do when we are standing up to give a presentation to the board.

What does it all mean?

We are all bad at assessing risk.

Kierkegaard said that anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. On one hand, we say, “I want to be free.” Yet, when we are free it feels like we don’t have any gravity. Groundlessness. No footing to stand on. A consistent free fall. Which creates tension that we want immediately to resolve.

I want freedom but waiting for instructions, doesn’t align. As a result, people build distractions in their lives so that they don’t experience this type of freedom. A bird in search of a cage to sleep. To insulate and avoid responsibility. I mean, come on, why would the boss let me ever do that?

Distractions and excuses are a way to avoid one’s own existential crisis. The irony never escapes me how we seek the rules to insulate and to avoid from seeing things as they are.