Month: July 2022

If we cannot be honest about where we are and what has happened, we are doomed to fall into the same patterns that led us here.

The reason is that we cannot build upon lies. And when we pass the buck, we are also transferring responsibility to someone else, we lose our agency to act.

Making things worse, we think there is nothing that needs to be done to change the outcome.

By default, we want to shift from a place of discomfort to comfort. Quickly. When I want something to finish, I am focused on the destination–not the journey.

If I switch my focus instead to my breath, thinking about the moment, I remember that this will soon be over.

So, why am I rushing this again?

Instead of moving on to the next thing, we can enjoy the present.

Memories. We value them so much. So much show, we equate them to who we are. We have no memories of tomorrow. It’s wide open what can happen.

Don’t let who you were stand in the way of who you are.

I recently read that consciousness is not in the body; the body is in consciousness.

The body is a construct the mind has created. The sum of organic tissue, blood and bones that make up “the body”. The mind, however, we can’t touch. It creates the construct of the body–a vessel–that is added to the self. Most of us think of our “self” as this thing whirling around inside us. But it is something else.

Deep stuff.

This is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. Too often, we stand on the edge of really seeing things as they are and seeing things as we want them to be–and we blink.

When we retreat, we look for what is familiar: safety, reliability, predictability, and control.

Suffering is part of the human condition. Take, for example, a promotion. When we don’t get that promotion, we suffer. When we do get the job, we still suffer. Because now we have to deal with all the stress that comes from taking a new job. Further, everything is temporary. What we have whether it is a title, bigger paycheck, etc.–is only for a brief moment that joy we feel.

Too often, we use these opportunities to distract ourselves from the fact that life is short. This is why we can still suffer when we get what we want. The answer then isn’t to just substitute the “bad” with the “good” On the contrary, it learning to ride the journey, regardless of what we think is best for us, that we can really experience this life. We can train the mind to see things differently.

5,000 people volunteered their time to make Wikipedia possible for billions of people to use.

Think about that for a moment.

Your hobbies may not pay the bills but they can certainly make an impact.

Something to think about when someone says, “It’s just a hobby.”

The more stones you turn, the more you learn.

Digging up and finding out everything you can about something is the path forward to really becoming an expert in our day and age.

Most of us pretend to be an expert in everything but it is impossible. Instead, we look to experts to tell us how we should react.

It also doesn’t take much effort, thanks to the internet to be better informed either.

You don’t need validation for the work you do.

You don’t need others to tell you that what you bring to the table is valuable.

In fact, you don’t need to make other people responsible for your happiness.

You’re in charge.

Act accordingly.

I meet a lot of teens who express they don’t have any friends, want to make friends but don’t know how to make friends.

Learning how to say hello, and introduce yourself is a skill. But it starts with looking up from your phone, and perhaps most importantly, having the courage to put yourself out there.

It isn’t just teens. As Robert Putman has pointed out, there has been a decline in social capital since the 1950s.

Bowling alone just isn’t as fun as it could be.

Happiness when shared.