Telling someone they are privileged when they don’t see themselves as such is shocking. Because they know how hard they worked to get where they are. The effort is separate from the advantages one has that others don’t.

Perhaps, you were born in a rich country, you’re a male, white, had opportunities for education, a two-parent household.

Let’s go deeper: A warm bed, food on the table, your parents made more than three dollars per day, clean water, transportation, were taught the dominant language.

Another level: Safety was abundant. You grew up in a household with expectations.

Advantages are not something to be ashamed of. They are, however, important to recognize when telling ourselves a story of inefficiency–which all humans like to do. Understanding the limitations of others humbles us when we drink the Kool-Aid.