We often invite more pain than what is necessary. We replay the scene and imagine the worst case scenarios over and over again. Causing more anxiety than what is necessary.
Here’s a trick that has helped me over the years: Experience the emotion you are feeling once and then move on. Give yourself permission to fully experience it.
When we try to soften the blow we drag it out. The thing about emotions is we are never done with them. One carries us to the next. So to fully experience one emotion helps us move onto the next.
(Obviously, this is much easier said than done.)