We cannot give what we don’t have

There is too much information for any one person to process. So, we aggregate. We lump large sums of information, label it and use it as a shortcut to see the world.

As a result, we begin to see things in a hierarchical sense. The pursuit of more money, more artifacts, more titles, more status…more, more, more. As one metric grows, we begin to look down at the body of work of accumulation. And because things like promotions offer instant feedback, we believe we might be doing something right.

The reason why we work so hard to accumulate more stuff, at least that we tell ourselves and those around us, is that someday I’ll give more. Whether it’s to a charity or to our children. We have natural instincts to want to make the lives of those around us better. But you can’t give what you don’t have. Money doesn’t make your children or your spouse or the people you seek to serve better.

The truth is, that deep down, we are afraid to give ourselves to another human being.

When do we do if we give our hearts and soul but are rejected? What does that say about me as a person? Am I really good enough for someone to see me for what I truly am?

That terrifies us.

The key to unlocking the love begins by loving ourselves. Not in a “Treat Yourself” kind of way either. I mean fully embracing vulnerability. Sharing ourselves to another person despite the blemishes.

This is true acceptance.

Accepting someone with their faults. Accepting ourselves with our faults.

We spend so much time hiding and polishing our lives so that no one ever sees us. And if we are never seen, then we are truly miserable. To give is to accept ourselves (and others) as humans.