Recently, a parent ask me How do you recognize when you are becoming prideful?
It’s important to see that with every interaction our status is always moving up or down.
How we choose to play those status roles is based on the internal dialogue we have of ourselves and others.
We are amplifying a story.
Shame sounds something like, “I am a mistake” or “I am a failure”. When we receive a compliment, we immediately put ourselves down.
While pride, subtly discounts the efforts of others while lifting our own. “It’s no big deal” and “It’s just one time”.
The question isn’t How do you recognize when you are too prideful? No, the question is, How are you keeping score?
Did you help someone do something they could never do on their own?
What kind of important, scary work are you doing that might fail?
What are you doing to matter?
In other words, are you playing the infinite game?
Because if you are playing for awards, accolades, recognition, reassurance, title, paycheck, artifacts…you are playing the wrong game.
If the foundation is off, everything else is out of order.