In a social media-driven world, it’s easy to see and to think that you’re doing something wrong. That everyone must have it figured out better than you.

It is also easy to think you are doing something right because of all the friends and likes you have…

Except, the next post doesn’t get as many likes. What did you do wrong?

Caparison is a trap.

It isn’t healthy to tie your self-esteem (confidence in your own worth) and your self-efficacy (belief to do hard things) to your social media channel.

The reason why we incessantly check Facebook is because of the instant feedback we receive and the fear of missing out.

As human beings, we crave connection. We crave to feel validated and accepted within a tribe.

Here’s the thing, reassurance is futile.

I don’t think it is easier for someone like Ed Sheeran to sit down and write another hit just because Shape of You was viewed four billion times. (There’s probably more pressure.)

And consider the fact that Gangnam Style has three billion views, there is no telling what will be the next great hit. (Good luck replicating that.)

You wouldn’t compare your first novel to a Stephen King novel, would you?

Of course not.

The work would become too discouraging for anyone to continue to produce if we were only going to measure it by popularity.

Someone’s life is always going to look better through a lens. Real validation comes when we can accept the blemishes.