Perhaps it is because social media platforms do such a good job amplifying certain voices in our culture but it’s worth noting:
The end of the world is not the same as someone facing the end of their world.
It helps to understand the perspective of someone saying the sky is falling where they are coming from.
I’m 36 and have realized in the last couple of years that somewhere in your mid-30s you have to start saying goodbye to things in order to preserve what you have.
Not everything, of course. But when we walk away from certain activities, lifestyles, and relationships, it comes with a sense of loss when we realize you are not that person anymore.
But when you flip the script around and say, “This is what I do now and I’m going to fight to preserve that.” Well, you appreciate what you have even more. While it’s okay to mourn, you also don’t want to miss your 30s just cause you to miss your 20s.
36 is not that old. And I can already hear the crowds say, “Just wait until you turn 66.”
Each of us has a unique personality that makes us who we are. And with that, we develop an identity.
“Me.”
We are not as wired to think about the future or how our actions affect those around us. It takes insight, and thoughtfulness to see the world through this lens.
The default setting is to occupy space for ourselves. It’s also a choice to look around and ask, “Who needs my help today?”
Some people believe that the purpose of business is to enable humanity. And others believe that purpose of humanity is to enable business.
The people in the latter group are just wrong. And too much of our culture has bought into this idea that we can be happy if we buy more stuff. If you just do what you are told, you will get paid. Be a cog in a machine that wears you down.
We can all agree though, this isn’t what it means to be human. We don’t fill our cups with an another thing. Instead, we find meaning in connection, overcoming adversity, a story we tell…
Of course, we all want the money, the status, the title, the respect. But what we are searching for is meaning. And meaning doesn’t necessarily come from the things we often prioritize.
I guarantee the person who volunteers their time helping out their community is finding meaning in the work they do better than the person showing up for money.
Perhaps we need to examine, what is it we can give rather than what we are getting along the way.
You can choose to focus on what you have or what you don’t.
You can look back and see life fading, perhaps a healthy 20-year-old self doing back flips off the high dive, you can see the vigor or the carefree self smiling. Hakuna matada, right? And by choosing this path of regret you also miss the path you are on.
When we are intentionally focused on the way things are, you then learn to appreciate what you still have, what you can still offer, and what is too come.
So much goes over our head when we are not paying attention.
We think we can be fully engaged with our loved ones once we clear the deck.
But that’s an illusion. It’s the other way around.
There’s always something else to do. Another fire to put out. And what we must decide what are we willing to let go in order to focus on what is most important.
The older you get the more you have to say goodbye to the things you used to do.
The high dive doesn’t seem worth it. Skiing at high speeds seems foolish and your days of cave diving seem like a distant memory.
It isn’t just the physical capabilities but also your hopes, dreams, and aspirations can begin to fade. (This is also why become more rigid with age.)
However, what we used to do doesn’t determine what we can be.
We can focus on what opportunities we have now instead of dwelling on how things used to be.
While the future is uncertain, the past is determined.
People can evolve, we can morph, and we can change.
When we are open to seeing the good in people, our capacity of seeing good in the world increases.
When we are optimistic about the world it is no doubt it gets better.
When we are pessimistic about it, we find what we are looking for.
We need to be reminded to give ourselves a break when we fall short.
But we also need to be reminded to give others a break too.
When is the last time you did that? Just totally forgave someone and moving on with no repercussions or reciprocity.
That is an bold act of courage—to forgive and forget.
Josh Allred's Blog 