Regardless of how far people have lost their way, there is a road back.
It’s difficult to be the one to extend another chance for someone who hasn’t earned that trust.
What we must decide is a way to not put expectations on others, open a door and hope for something to change.
Who knows when the day comes when you will crave to give you another chance. It’s not a duty, it’s an obligation if you want to see things get better. People can change. We are all plastic.
It’s okay to not be where you want to be at.
What isn’t going to fix the situation is reaching the goal but recalibrating your expectations.
Be patient on the journey, it makes the destination worth staying at.
The first time I went up to Angels Landing in Zion National Park was in 2007 as part of a school trip. There was some snow, and some ice, it was dark–I had never done anything remotely like this. The whole time I remember feeling, “Am I going to die?” I gripped the chains and eventually made my way to the top. It was a life-changing experience being on top of the world. And it shaped me who I am today.
16 years later, I went back up taking my sister and this time it was just a walk in the park. There were no chains, no snow or ice, (and because we didn’t have a permit) we did it in the dark avoiding the heat and traffic.
The experience I have gathered climbing mountains made this much easier. That much is certain. But also, it is worth pointing out that humans distort memories. We remember the feeling of fear and over time it cements itself to being worst than it actually is. This applies to watching a movie as a kid to watching it now.
Time exaggerates while experience grounds us.
This is a difficult skill to master but nonetheless, a skill that can be worked on and improved.
The first time I hit turbulence on a plane, I gripped the seat armrests focusing all my energy on keeping the plane aloft. (Good thing I was there.) But of course, it didn’t matter how much mental energy I put in, it wasn’t me in control of the plane. There was nothing I could do to improve the situation I was in, I was just a passenger. And so now, when I hit turbulence, I now say to myself, “What a relief that I am not in charge of fixing this.” I sit back in my chair and try to be patient as the disturbance passes.
It’s a practice. If you cannot control the situation, then worrying about it will only make things worse.
When you do spend all your energy on the things you can’t control you have nothing to give on the things you can influence.
Waiting for things to get better? Sure that could happen. But that 55-minute commute isn’t getting shorter and once someone has labeled you as a trouble-maker, it will be hard to shake.
The alternative then…
Making things better. Taking action and the necessary steps towards a better future.
Too often, we just hope that our position will just improve over time without taking the necessary steps required to see an investment pay off.
No one’s path is straight. In fact, it goes all over the place. And the reason is this:
“Knowing what I know now, I can act differently.”
Because humans are plastic. We can change our minds when we learn something new.
You first need to have the ability to see. To see a need in the world.
Often, that can take a lot of years of experience perfecting your craft, noticing the nuances, and being able to assert/understand what it is people want.
Next, you need to have the guts to go for it.
It won’t always work but the ones who dream big and are able to take action are the ones who move the needle towards a more just world.
The phrase made famous by the one and only Brene Brown, the gift of imperfections is not something humans internalize very well.
Instead of polishing over and over again the parts of ourselves, we are so afraid of sharing, we could instead put them out there for everyone to see.
Not everyone will embrace these parts of themselves. But someone will. And when we do, we will find when we can be brave enough to share our true selves, and someone can gently embrace that part–you have a lasting connection.
(And it isn’t just relationships but also the work we produce.)
There is so much pressure from our culture today to perform at your highest level every moment of every day. (Give 110%, right?)
At the same time, each of us knows our faults better than anyone. We all misbehave.
Sometimes we just need to be reminded that it isn’t your fault that you haven’t reached your fullest potential. Because in reality, no one ever can. When you can forgive yourself you can now start where you are and go forward.
If you break from conformity and obedience there will be cost associated with this decision.
The cost might be disapproval, you could be thrown out of the tribe.
But the trade-off is freedom.
Which terrifies most people.
Those who have stood up to injustice, questioned the powerful, spoke up about the crimes against humanity are usually not treated fairly.
We need the torchbearer to lead us out of the dark and to get us to think for ourselves.
Josh Allred's Blog 