Josh Allred's Blog

Spilled milk is a mistake that can be fixed.

Yet, we overreact to these types of mistakes all the time.

Not because we don’t have domain knowledge, we just lack the willpower at that moment.

I can’t help but think about how hard it is for us to do the small stuff on a consistent basis.

We struggle as humans to do the day-in and day-out grind.

Not enough energy or time.

So, how can we ever tackle the big stuff?

The easiest answer I can think of:

Get more sleep.

Solving problems isn’t an obligation, it’s an opportunity.

We go about it the wrong way.

We want to word vomit all the things we have felt, seen and experienced.

None of that matters.

In fact, the truth may need to take a back seat.

With every difficult conversation, it has nothing to do with the information (because that can be easily disputed if we were objective).

Instead, the focus needs to be can you hold space long enough to make the other person feel safe.

If someone feels safe, then growth is now a possibility.

If something feels dangerous, there is no opportunity.

So much praise is given at the start.

So much focus is on the result.

And where real power lies is sticking out in the middle when no one cares anymore.

There’s a moment when everyone must decide what kind of person they are truly going to be.

In that decision, we must ask if am I doing this thing because I am trying to please the people around me or if am I doing this because it is the right thing to do.

Doing the right thing or living your authentic self is not the same as making everyone happy.

Living with the disappointment of others is a sign of growth.

Love is should not be conditional.

In Turkey, there is this tradition called Asked Ekmek, which translates to “bread on the hook”. So when you go to the baker, you have the option at the counter to buy a loaf of bread for yourself and a second loaf of bread for someone in the community. When someone is hungry, they can go to the baker and ask, “Is there any bread on the hook today?” The bread is shared and the hunger is dispersed while the community grows closer together. 

Sometimes people call this paying it forward. I don’t love the word paying. Instead, what is happening is one act of generosity. We overcomplicate how to fix the world, when we should all be focused on just making things better for someone else. One by one that is how the world becomes a little bit safer, a little bit greener, a little bit more joyful. You can do this with the work you do. Just pick yourself to get started. 

“I do not pretend to understand the moral universe; the arc is a long one, my eye reaches but little ways; I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by the experience of sight; I can divine it by conscience. And from what I see I am sure it bends toward justice.”  — Theodore Parker,  January 29, 1858

In 1972, after many decades of exile, Charlie Chaplin received a 12-minute standing ovation at the Oscars—making it the longest standing ovation in the Oscar’s history.

What had happened was after the making of The Great Dictator in 1940, Chaplin was accused of being a communist. It affected so much of his life that he eventually moved to Europe to get away from it all.

Today, Chaplin’s final speech of The Great Dictator is seen as one of the greatest monologues in movie history. And while Chaplin admits later on that he wouldn’t have made the film if he knew the atrocities that were happening during WWII and couldn’t have predicted the backlash, he still made an all-time piece of art. (Remember the U.S. wasn’t in the war yet and were “neutral.”)

The point is that you can’t change the world without some sort of price. Sometimes that price can be small with sweat. It can also cost everything too. But if you care enough and are willing to put it on the line, you have the cost of entry to doing something extraordinary.

“How can someone do such a thing?”

The simple answer is that person is “bad”, “evil”, or “wrong”…

The more complex answer is that perhaps that is the best this person can do.

It’s a hard fact to face.

On one hand, you could have done much better and so you are quick to judge. On the other, how do you expect people to get better when you have given up on them? How can you expect someone to believe in themselves if no one will give them a chance or the benefit of the doubt?

Yes, the climb is high but people can also do remarkable things too. There are no comeback stories without someone falling flat to begin with.

I don’t know one single person in my life that isn’t struggling to improve their mental health. Everyone has areas they are working to improve on. So the question then becomes what strength are you going invoke inside yourself to overcome the obstacles you face?

Perhaps, the bravest thing we can do in an age of cynicism is to choose joy.

Not everyone can of course do this. Not everyone is in the state to do so, especially when dealing with a real crisis. It’s just a reminder that we can also take this posture that despite everything that has happened, I am going to choose to live today. And if you are going to choose to be here, perhaps, the next step isn’t to focus on how to make things better for you but how you can make things better for someone else.

Power elites want to distract people with the next cultural war. What I mean is, the systemic approach of pinning people with a little bit of status and a little bit of power against those with less. Instead of focusing on the much larger issues of democracy, climate change and nuclear war, we squander and waste what’s left in the tank. No one person is strong enough to change things around here but together much can be accomplished. Nothing happens until we see each other as members of the human race again and rid of the “us vs. them” culture.

It’s important to remember that you are never too old to take a leap. To take a chance and do the thing you always wanted to do but always found an excuse to go for it.

Sure, it might not work, you might not make it. However, you could always go back to what to do now if it fails. Too many of us have convinced ourselves that good enough is the same as following our dreams.