Josh Allred's Blog

A negative side effect of shame, insecurities, or comparison, you can’t say you are an author unless you are a “successful” one. Its easy when you have been featured on the New York Times Bestseller List. We struggle to say, “I’m an artist,” when we are not profitable. Because the other ways we measure are not easily quantifiable.

The list of areas we like to see get better is far longer than the list of things we do well. In the toxic words of fictional serial killer, Patrick Bateman, “You can always be thinner…look better.”

If we are going to compare something we have to have a unit of measure and something to compare it to. Far too often, what we are really asking does it make money? It’s an undertone and a byproduct of a world that put to the center markets.

We have to figure out what makes us happy. Because if we continue to put money at the center, which based on an economy of growth and more, then we are going to run without much meaning at the center.

I don’t find it a coincidence that in an economy that is based on growth there is such a high demand on personal growth.

In basketball, you don’t step under the feet of shooters or dive for loose balls that undercut someone; when a defender is in the air that bought the pump fake, you don’t “shoot,” you don’t run up the score once the game is decided…and so on.

It’s considered a good sport even if the rule isn’t written.

The beauty of these rules is that we follow them because we are assuming the best of each other.

In our culture today, we forget all the unwritten rules that make society great and function. We also need to remember to teach others so that we never forget them.

I just picked up a skateboard again—the first time in 20+ years. I was having a conversation with a friend about how once people hit their 30s, they feel this pressure to fit in, to “act their age.”

To me, skateboarding has been a place of refuge—a community where I can find and connect with others like me. I have found it far less in the climbing community over the years. For better or worse, it has changed, and the people don’t resonate with me like they used to.

Part of growing up is seeing these changes. But it is optional to fit in with the rest.

No one cares what you look like.

Well, that’s not true.

They just don’t care as much as you do.

Because the boss doesn’t follow up asking how the meeting went wanting to know if the sales person had achne.

No one is saying don’t shower or put on a fresh shirt. We just don’t need to spend hours on end fretting about one small detail when putting our best selves forward.

It’s our best self, not our perfect selves.

“I’ll show them.”

This can be fuel to get you started. But to stay in something for the long term, you need to be in the game for the right reasons.

The right reason usually starts from a place of love.

The first search engine felt a bit uncomfortable to use with having a computer tell us the answer to any question we typed in. But still, you had websites to choose from to see that answer.

AI is different in that (with a few exception) the user doesn’t see how it came to the conclusion it did.

Which is fine when asking what temperature to preheat your oven when baking a loaf of bread. But when we are trusting the machine to tell us how to think, how to feel, who to date, where to work, where to live—we are turning over the best part of what it is to be human…

…Agency, curiosity, exploration, creativity.

We don’t always need the “right” answer to every question. What we really seek is clarity.

Some things are black and white. True and false.

In other words, we can’t fight with gravity. It just is.

So, with everything else, we have this grey area.

And when we are in the public discord deciding how to conduct ourselves, we miss the opportunity to move toward dignity.

When not sure what to do—move toward dignity.

The label of doctor is earned. So is that of a mechanic. In this culture, when money is exchanged, it is usually handed to an expert with that title.

Most of us don’t squirm at the label of parent or sibling. They are inherent if you qualify.

But then we hesitate when we are called funny, artist, or great leader. Because the bar isn’t set on what those things mean. And so we “earn” these titles in the common language of economics (i.e., money exchanged).

What we have to divorce and separate is this hold money has in our everyday language.

The thing about memories is that they are so forgettable. They change with time, and we distort them.

This blog is a way for me to remember—at least how I used to think about things.

Setlist is also an excellent way to remember concerts.

Instagram was certainly set up with this in mind in its early days.

Having gentle reminders so we can make room for the next thing is an incredible hack to remember.

Humans are obsessed with documenting our existence to let the world know we are here. But perhaps a better approach is to remind us where we have come from.

If we think about our own experience in life: all the pain, joy, sorrow…we can become so isolated in these powerful emotions. We don’t realize everyone is feeling the same thing—doing their best to get through the day. When we walk around with this kind of prajna, this kind of insight and empathy, people are no longer obstacles.