Defeat isn’t a moment. It sometimes looms for years—even decades. And to rebuild after a defeat can be daunting.
Defeat is a process that we should better recognizea a long road. But the good news is, the holes are not so deep that you can’t get out of them.
I’ve been drawn to this idea lately and have been thinking about whether we are a defeated people who don’t recognize it.
The funny thing about security, happiness, joy, comfort, safety, and so on is that they may require a certain amount of money to achieve. But it doesn’t need millions of dollars either. The best times of my life were when I was most broke. And that certainly isn’t the case with children in the mix. However, the best memories didn’t require spending money either.
It’s worth taking note: why do I need more money at the moment? Is it to save for a house or new wardrobe or a vacation? All fine pursuits. But is it to make you happier? That’s really the million dollar question.
Important decisions can be a good thing. Maybe a new job that takes you to a new city. Starting a relationship or moving in with someone. And when “weighing” options, we tend to think in terms of pros and cons. Which has more weight? Perhaps we should ask instead, ‘How will one make me feel?’ Will this bring me dignity? Is it the responsible decision? Is this part of the arc you are building?
Analysis will help us do things better.
But better may not be the goal.
Enjoying the process might be precisely what the doctor ordered.
Our narrative can become so biased that hearing an outside perspective shifts our outlook. Because it is so contradictory to what we constantly say to ourselves (”I’m not good enough”).
For instance, someone applying for jobs can feel like a reject after receiving rejection letter after rejection letter. That doesn’t mean you are the reject. They are rejecting your process or your pitch.
We often conflate the two: the narrative and the reality.
Every streak comes to an end. The streak isn’t the point unless you’re trying to get into the Guinness World Records. The fact is that streaks create another layer of showing up today. They enforce our behavior. Once we decide to do something, the streak reinforces it. Results follow process.
“Getting by” is awful. Humans are unique because we want more than to survive. We want to thrive. We want to grow. And we want to live (by experiencing life).
Sometimes we need to put our head down to “get by” the day. But we miss all the lessons that awful stretch can teach us.
You will always find opposition anytime you push an agenda through. Even building a park has its critics. How much will it cost? Who is paying for this? Where? Will this attract vagrants? Will someone get hurt? And on and on.
And we spend a lot of time trying to make the citizens happy when they never will. It doesn’t mean we don’t consider the critic’s perspective. But we don’t need to cater to someone who refuses to be happy, either.
Building something always has a cost. And rarely do we consider the emotional toll.
Comfort comes with practice. When we are afraid, dancing with that fear can make us more comfortable in these vulnerable positions.
Comfort can also make us complacent. In many ways, we get used to where we live, the jobs we have, the wrath of a bad boss, and so on.
Comfort is indeed a double-edged sword in what we choose to endure. Comfort that leads to complacency kills the human spirit.
The temperature is surprisingly cooler…
The noise is much quieter…
When we put our phones down.
Because politics are a human invention. And so is debt.
Nature didn’t create these things, we did.
It seems that nature doesn’t really care about what we think.
Josh Allred's Blog 