Gossip is perhaps one of the most toxic forms of speech we have today. All media is built on it. The key to breaking gossip is to have something more interesting to talk about. When there isn’t anything interesting, gossip then becomes the default. Instead of “Did you hear…” we can begin with, “What have you built lately?” There are lots of ways to go here. The key is building things and people up instead of what needs to be torn down.
Gravity is unbiased. It acts on all objects. And you feel it when you trip. So are the ocean and the mountains. In fact, all of the ecosystem. The lion doesn’t think much past instinct. On the other hand, humans can be biased in dealing with problems, for better or worse. Often worse. And because of this insecurity, we know how biased we are personally, we are skeptical externally. But no relationship can ever build or be trusted until we learn to give the benefit of the doubt—something no one else gives on planet Earth except us.
In a super charged modern capitalist society, we are constantly engaged in this idea of bartering. “This for that.” But human society, for perhaps hundreds and thousands of years was built on gift giving. “I owe you one.” And while operating completely separate from the marketplace is unrealistic, we don’t need to create a market out of everything we do. For instance, if you enjoy underwater basket weaving, enjoy underwater basket weaving. There is no need to build out a portfolio, start a business, and go for profit. You can do and give. Time and attention are perhaps our most important assets. Why put a price tag on it if you don’t have to?
The key insight about adults having temper tantrums is often tied to the idea that they didn’t get what they wanted.
Another way to say this is that they didn’t get what they thought was fair.
In other words, they didn’t receive what they believed they were entitled to.
Regardless of who was right or wrong, it was often clear that one side or perhaps both was missing something that they felt they were owed.
In our minds, our relationships are usually better or worse than we think they are. Because our insight is one way, we don’t really know what anyone else is truly thinking. And often, what someone is thinking is truly illogical.
The dominant narrative in our lives is the one we choose to pay attention to. We ignore all the other parts of the story, the small and seemingly uninteresting parts. But the reality is those matter, too. The story you tell isn’t the only story to tell.
It can’t be underestimated the (miracle?) to be able to go to a McDonald’s in Barstow and Cleveland, and it tastes the same. But that doesn’t mean we asked for it. When you see a McDonald’s at every corner, you can begin to believe this is what people want. Perhaps the better way to think about it is: it’s what’s there. While good taste takes time to acquire, I think it’s clear the masses have better taste than we see.
I’ve been on record, and I believe Claude by Anthropic is a much better product than Chat GPT with Open AI. The concerns that arise from AI are indeed crucial and need careful consideration regarding how it is made. What are the deep insecurities of humans that we are afraid to ask that AI will tell us? Perhaps more worrisome is what bad actors will do (and what will this enable for the good ones?) What biases are we imprinting in the system? Even scarier to think about, what are the blind spots we can’t see?
Every piece of technology solves problems while simultaneously creating new ones. Automobile accidents didn’t exist before automobiles, but that didn’t stop us from producing them.
Running from the tech is not an option. So what are we going to do to create the best type of AI? What do we want it to do? Which problems are we trying to solve? Who should regulate? Who can? Where are we trying to go? How do we set the guardrails? I found this discussion so fascinating and think its worth a listen.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tetragrammaton-with-rick-rubin/id1671669052?i=1000711127134
Remember, if you don’t have AI working for you, soon you will be working for AI.
A useful framing:
Your problem is ___________. You might have rigid boundaries, you might critize too harshly, you may be too passive, or quiet…perhaps a better way to look at this is why. Why are you the way you are? And one answer is when I was a kid I had to do this to survive. But now you are not a child, you’re an adult. We can honor why we make the choices to survive and we can also have permission to make different choices now.
If you don’t know the reference, it is a wall on left field at Fenway Park in Boston. And the temptation when you’re a competitor is to try and hit over it. Of course, most that try don’t succeed. But the temptation is always there for us. We see a mountain, we want to climb it. And that pull for risk, adventure, to try something that may never been done before—it’s there in all of us. (It may not always be wise and prudent and just might cost you an out.)
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