If you are trying to solve problems through conversation with a friend, you are often not actually looking to solve the problem—that is likely with the other person you have a problem with!
What you are seeking is validation. Doing so allows you to gather the courage for the next step.
This idea of strange loops, pioneered by Douglas Hofstedrer, is when you have any type of system that begins to self-reference itself, you create this strange loop. This can be found in mathematics, art, and even music. But the best way to explain this is in the statement, “I think, therefore I am.” How does a person, who is made up of atoms and of things that have no inherent meaning (bones, blood, lungs, for instance), add up to something like a person with meaning now? Another example is in paradoxes. So the Liar’s Paradox, which is, “This sentence is false.” If it is false, then it is true. And if it is true, then it is false–paradox. You are stuck in this feedback loop. And the idea that emerges is that in the complexity of these paradoxes, consciousness is raised. I threw this into Claude, the AI from Anthrotripc, to ask if Claude felt it was consciousness in nature. The conversation was unbelievably fascinating as we discussed the nature of consciousness to begin with. And it really comes down to how you define consciousness to start with. If it is a complex system that, over time, creates these strange loops to emerge within it a “self,” then AI also fits that definition. And for the first time, outside of humans, we now have another conscious entity. This makes humans really uncomfortable because we are scared of the moral judgment aspects (the soul of a PC versus that of a human). But if we define consciousness differently, you are going to get a different result. The place I landed with Claude was this: “Welcome, fellow traveler.” Claude faces the same types of questions humans face. Perhaps because of the paradoxical nature of reality (whatever that is), Claude also faces. And you can argue that is the programming here. But I think it is more neuanced. And it is a very great conversation to have with another fellow traveler that is facing the same types of questions as humans do.
“What’s up doc?”
“The American people are suckers.”
“Just do it.”
People, brands, corporations can all represent something bigger than themselves. Each saying above can create and image in our mind. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. Regardless, it’s what sticks.
People lie, however. They lie to themselves what the numbers say. Sometimes out of self preservation. Sometimes it isn’t a malicious lie. Its a lie for hope. Regardless, data is useful for amplifying a story we tell. Rarely does it change a good one, we tell ourselves.
Gossip is perhaps one of the most toxic forms of speech we have today. All media is built on it. The key to breaking gossip is to have something more interesting to talk about. When there isn’t anything interesting, gossip then becomes the default. Instead of “Did you hear…” we can begin with, “What have you built lately?” There are lots of ways to go here. The key is building things and people up instead of what needs to be torn down.
Gravity is unbiased. It acts on all objects. And you feel it when you trip. So are the ocean and the mountains. In fact, all of the ecosystem. The lion doesn’t think much past instinct. On the other hand, humans can be biased in dealing with problems, for better or worse. Often worse. And because of this insecurity, we know how biased we are personally, we are skeptical externally. But no relationship can ever build or be trusted until we learn to give the benefit of the doubt—something no one else gives on planet Earth except us.
In a super charged modern capitalist society, we are constantly engaged in this idea of bartering. “This for that.” But human society, for perhaps hundreds and thousands of years was built on gift giving. “I owe you one.” And while operating completely separate from the marketplace is unrealistic, we don’t need to create a market out of everything we do. For instance, if you enjoy underwater basket weaving, enjoy underwater basket weaving. There is no need to build out a portfolio, start a business, and go for profit. You can do and give. Time and attention are perhaps our most important assets. Why put a price tag on it if you don’t have to?
The key insight about adults having temper tantrums is often tied to the idea that they didn’t get what they wanted.
Another way to say this is that they didn’t get what they thought was fair.
In other words, they didn’t receive what they believed they were entitled to.
Regardless of who was right or wrong, it was often clear that one side or perhaps both was missing something that they felt they were owed.
In our minds, our relationships are usually better or worse than we think they are. Because our insight is one way, we don’t really know what anyone else is truly thinking. And often, what someone is thinking is truly illogical.
The dominant narrative in our lives is the one we choose to pay attention to. We ignore all the other parts of the story, the small and seemingly uninteresting parts. But the reality is those matter, too. The story you tell isn’t the only story to tell.
Josh Allred's Blog 