If we are quick to forgive, we also avoid future problems.
Meaning, when you feel like you are through with someone whoever you replace them with also comes with more baggage.
Inheriting a whole new set of problems isn’t the solution.
The grass isn’t always greener.
Perhaps, your emotional energy is better spent actually solving the problem in front of you instead of seeking a new one to solve.
We all need reminders that we can overcome adversity. That we can be strong. That we can have courage.
All these feelings come can go.
Life is one endless lesson.
We are constantly extracting meaning out of all situations.
As a result, there is an opportunity to learn.
Do we play the role for the situation we find ourselves in or perhaps do we create the situation for the roles we play?
Because…
Often, we play the victim for a situation we had a hand in creating.
Once the mystery is gone, then what is left to discover?
We want so badly to resolve the tension that is created when we are in the middle of a really good book or a movie, in search of resolution that we forget this space is what makes the end so good.
Don’t be so quick to resolve, instead sit with it.
What we want and what we are looking for are often not the same things.
Translation: We work so hard to get to a destination, to get to this place, and we miss the things along the way that actually fills our soul.
It has been said so often but the destination is not the goal. It is all about the process.
Compliance works great until it doesn’t. When the solution to a problem can’t be found in the manual, many look to the boss to tell them what to do next. After all, you don’t want to get fired.
Leaders, on the other hand, see a difficult problem and invent a solution.
When you are constantly told to stay within the lines, we believe that we need to go to the person with authority for answers.
It’s a problem when we teach kids to solve difficult problems this way. With multiple choice answers that can be memorized from a textbook. After all, you can just Google it.
It’s even a bigger problem, however, when we give responsibility away as soon as we hit a bump in the road.
“It’s not my problem. I’m not in charge here. That’s above my pay grade.”
People want to control other people because they have a difficult time controlling their own lives.
People want to hate other people because deep down they hate themselves.
People want to have conflict because they walk around conflicted.
When we experience pain, the villain wants others to feel it too.
A hero, on the other hand, says, “I don’t want anyone else to experience this kind of pain ever again.”
And without the accolades or education or money or fame or status…
What is left?
Well, it took 2,600 blog posts to say this:
One day we all are going to die. It’s not if but when.
Most of us do a lot of work and stay really busy to ignore this fact.
Albert Camus has written extensively about the topic and why the answer isn’t to roll over but to revolt.
Another problem is so much of what we do is building towards a better tomorrow when all that is guaranteed is now. (This is also why it is so hard for humans to act in ways outside their own self-interest.)
Some people want to skip the process of creating meaning in their lives because of how much work is associated with it. To just be happy all the time. I think this is a mistake.
When we are optimistic in our approach, we are more likely to find something worth grabbing onto. When there is a pathway for hope, we can’t help but feel better. We also get to choose what and where to find meaning.
I often go back to this quote from Frederick Douglass when he was teaching slaves to read. “I taught them because it was the delight of my soul to be doing something that looked like the bettering the condition of my race.”
That’s the moment right there. When we find something so pure, so compelling, something to lose ourselves in—we discover meaning and just feel better.
This is it. This is what we got and one shot at it. And yeah, it is a struggle. As Camus has pointed out, even Sisyphus can find meaning when pushing a rock up a hill just to see it go down once he reaches the top. You just have to imagine him smiling on the way down.
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