Month: July 2025

The most uneven part of our culture is how a crisis is felt amongst different groups of people. Everyone felt COVID-19, but some thought it more than others. The same is true about the 2008 financial downturn. A tsunami doesn’t have the same effects as someone in Iowa. If we are fortunate to be shielded from these disasters, we must find other contributing ways. Life is an unequal distribution of suffering. And when we see it, we choose to ignore it or act.

Centuries ago, the justice system relied on character and reputation before forensic evidence was ever invented, chasing rumors to catch a criminal. Today, in theory, we try to have some evidence to reach a conclusion that is closer to the truth of what happened. But reputation still matters. It shows up in job interviews and background checks for an apartment. And maybe, the problem isn’t the blemishes on every ones reputation (we all have them), but perhaps we shouldn’t put so much stock in our assessment in people. People prove us wrong all the time. They defy the odds, challenge the status quo, and raise the bar. Sure, many behave like people do. But we do no favors in ignoring the potential in someone because we saw something in a resume that rubbed us the wrong way.

“I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation.” — Joan Jett

Sometimes, the most courageous act is to stand firm in one’s beliefs in the face of scrutiny. Just as it is essential to change our minds, it is equally important to stand firm and not be swayed by the wind. Adult trees are much better at holding their position than a young sapling.

In our culture, we are expected to control our emotions, and for good reason. To have order, you have to create a standard. “People like us do things like this.”

Yet, at the same time, we know that it is impossible to stop these emotions from happening. I don’t control when I’m hungry, and yet I get hungry. We know sleep is critical to health, well-being, and productivity, but we don’t build the culture around taking naps. Instead, we build around results, not the process.

It makes me curious what would happen if we shifted into outlets for emotions (and impulses) that are seemingly out of control. Emotions are powerful. Everyone experiences them, and yet they are the most difficult to be empathetic about—because, hey, I got feelings, too!

Jason Schwartzman didn’t see himself as an actor. He saw himself as a musician. As a result, he and Wes Anderson created a masterpiece in Rushmore. The music, however, influenced the work of acting. Jason and Wes would sit there listening to the soundtrack, prepping for scenes. The lesson here is that just because you took up acting doesn’t mean you stop being a musician. The best musicians find a way to express themselves regardless of whether they are behind a drum kit or in front of a camera.

Rowing in different directions will cause chaos on any boat. You won’t go anywhere. There seems to be a small group of the population that only cares about the chaos. We see it in voting. But you can also see it in other areas. How much time should you spend aligning these groups or ignoring them? That’s a difficult question to answer, but we go farther together in the end.

Ultimately, this comes down to focusing on:

1. What we can control.
2. And what we can’t control.

It is tantalizing to think we can control the uncontrollable. This also traps modern hubris. We see it in a generation that isn’t prepared for the end, holding on to hope longer than they will live forever. We also see it in the mastery of the elements. But this pitfall is masking the fact that we don’t have as much control as we believe we do, which makes it critical to control the things you can. Such as:

1. How you respond to stress.
2. How do you change your mind or opinion?
3. What you can give instead of take.
4. What actions can you take now?

The list is longer than we imagine, but it isn’t forever either. We can choose what it is to focus on—hopefully the things we can control and the acceptance of what we can’t.

Mike Tyson famously said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” There is nothing wrong with having a plan. But it is much better to have the skills to rely on when things don’t go as planned (which is most of the time).

Culture builds around systems, not the other way around. Once the game’s rules are set, we create a culture to reinforce them. Once we pull back the curtain and see that systems work overtime to nudge us in directions and spaces we don’t want to go, we can see the insidious parts. Capitalism is more than an economic structure. It’s a political one. And it is also a system of extraction. Once you see it, it’s impossible to unsee it.

Dogma is a system of self-evident truths. And what we don’t understand about these self-evident truths is the violent origins of what these systems are built upon.