Relationships are not a zero sum game

The difficulty with relationships is that status roles, affiliation, and fear get in the way and cloud so much of our thinking. After a while, we can believe we need to best the people around us. Someone doesn’t have to lose for us to win. Moral envy kicks in when we think everyone must struggle like we do. The reality is we all struggle. We all suffer—some worse than others. But heartache and pain can cross any imaginary lines we draw. Perhaps there is so much tension or friction in your relationships that you are framing it all wrong: Don’t play games you can’t win.