Month: August 2024

Plenty of literature has demonstrated that bad can also get worse.

Too often, this is self-inflicted.

Meaning the bottom will be when we stop digging.

Make the tough decision; don’t delay it.

When the internet was slow, you had to know what you were searching for. You didn’t browse because it wasn’t a productive use of your time; you browsed because it was novel. But in between pages, you could make a cup of coffee as the page loaded from the top down.

So, the internet needed to speed up to make browsing a thing. The internet created a whole new market for leisure and time spent by upgrading from dial-up. To optimize eyeballs on the screen, internet companies designed the app colors and font to make it more appealing, pushed the stories of sex or drama or the world ending to the top to keep you glued, and the cud de gra of infinite scrolling.

When everything is instant, we are insatiable. And I don’t think we realize at the speed of instant gratification how much it changes our psyches. When the world is shifted, and everyone gets what they want in a couple of clicks, what then?

The world is going to reward those who are more patient. Those who take a long road. Not the one looking for a shortcut to make a few bucks but to the ones who can wait for a page to load. And obviously, I am not talking about dial-up.

The world revolves around debt systems.

When you are born, you are in debt to your parents.

When you go to school, you are venturing into debt servitude.

When you look at what people buy, you see that you need to take out more debt to build credit.

The point is that we have real debts that must be paid to the state in order for the economy to function. Of course, the big lie is that all debts don’t need to be paid. But that’s a whole can of worms to break down.

What doesn’t get talked about enough are the cosmic debts to the gods that must be paid for all this and the spiritual violence this toll takes on us. If life is work, then one must work to appease the gods. This has a more significant impact on our psyches than we realize. It is why one cannot rest and be on their time; they should be doing something more productive.

It isn’t easy to live in a modern world where the demand for growth is constant. We can change the formula since we don’t have the stomach to go backward. I often come back to debt. We are so accustomed to looking at debts that we don’t see how they penetrate the language we use or the stories we tell. But perhaps, to ease the short term, we can start forgiving ourselves for the debts we make up. Whether it is to god, our parents, our duties, or other relationships…we already have enough to pay to the banks; we can also start somewhere by letting each other off the hook.

Anxiety is about what will happen in the future. No one is anxious about what has already happened. What’s done is done.

Uncertainty about the next thing racquets tension in our lives. Of course, not knowing what tomorrow brings is the juice. If we had a script, we wouldn’t be excited about opportunities.

The problem is that our brains can transform us into the future and construct a reality. It’s not an actual “Reality” but one built on fiction and fantasy. The thing is, we tend to imagine this world of extremes. Vacations are better in our minds than they are. Undesirable outcomes also seem worse with how they construct they will be than what happens.

The thing we don’t give ourselves enough credit for is that we are more resilient than we realize. Whatever comes our way, we figure it out. And we don’t see the long list of problems we solve that got us here; we see the long list of the issues we have caused or needed to solve. What we don’t do enough construction of, for good reason, is imagine the problems we could have faced along the way. The issues we avoid are not the ones we see on our to-do list.

If you could list all the problems you have solved in your life and all the problems you have avoided, you would have a better case to believe in your ability to get things done. Since we can’t do that, we must trust that we can.

In this mess, problems aren’t just the ones you face but the ones you avoid, too.

Lifting requires much more mechanical advantage.

On the other hand, shifting may require a nudge in another direction.

The results with a simple nudge compounded with time can have dramatic results.

Perhaps heavy lifting can be reserved when time is not on your side and when you have a lot of energy to put into it.

Rules insulate us from getting into trouble, keep our jobs safe, provide order, send a cue how things are done around here…

When we step out of the system that those govern, what then are those rules?

I think this is very useful way of looking at constraints. If you don’t like the ones imposed, simply create better ones.

Draw a bigger (or smaller) box to work with.

Waiting for the news on a job.

Waiting for an results on a biopsy.

Waiting for answer from the prosecutor.

Waiting for a pandemic to hit.

Waiting for a yes.

Tom Petty said, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

There is a lot of waiting around. Sometimes for paralyzing news. And during this period you may not have much you can do while you wait. And that is tortuous. So the choice then, is control what you can control.

Living is always a choice.

They say, if you can’t be trusted with the small things, it is difficult to be trusted about the big ones.

And since our world floods us with so many little things, we tend to be nonchalant about them.

“I’ll get to it later.”

I think it should be the other way around. Become trusted with the big things and forgettable about the little.

Learn what needs to be taken serious and laugh at the rest.

Is the resentment that builds. Over time, this is the quicket way to end any relationship.

And there is no clear antidote to this.

You can obviously try couples counseling, reading books, talking about it, think of a systematic approach to minimizing conflict…there are plenty of paths to take.

However, I do think at some point you have to find a way to forgive. You lost that time/opportunity with it. And you need to come to peace with this.

The best thing to do is to go forward. Resentment doesn’t just eat the past, it also consumes the present. Creating a negative spiral.

What is a cue? It is a signal to the rest of the world in how to behaive. Going to the opera doesn’t have a dress code and yet, almost everyone there is dressed in a tux or gown.

Going to work has social cues. In the home, there are cues everywhere. You’ll find toys in a home full of children not expensive vases.

The problem with cues is we treat them like laws. If things look like this, I should act like that. We are always looking for a way to behaive because of our deep desire to fit in.

What about when AI wipes out a job market? What are those cues?

What about when social media becomes unreadable (which lets be honest already is) because of all the fake news that is spreads? What is the signal then?

The point is, the world continues to change at a pace no one can be competent at. And the world the last 200 years was built of competence. Anyone who goes to university can attest, it is less about learning as it is to demonstrate you can be competent at the tasks you will be given.

The culture cue of demonstrating competence is dead. If all you can show to get a job is a resume, how does one stand out? You can’t. You have to show your work. What projects you have completed, what your portfolio looks like, what can you point to and say, “This is me.” A social media account isn’t enough. Short cutting to making it seem like you have a brand isn’t doing much either.

The cue is a signal. And the signal is noisy. It isn’t easy to pick up because it isn’t making it clear what to do next. When it isn’t clear, the answer is simple:

Pick yourself. Get going.