Month: January 2024

For many, we cannot stand when someone tells us what to do.

But what we fear more is embracing the power of freedom.

We create this system that requires our surrender of agency. And then wonder where did all the choices go?

The alternative is to take the agency back. And when we do, it no longer seems palpable to do what people tell you what to do.

We can do things like forgive, love, hate, fight, make peace.

What we can’t do is fight gravity.

We should be very clear about what it is we are capable of.

When we are, we can find power in controlling the things we can and surrendering to the things we can’t.

I was recently reminded of the power of gift-giving. The idea that we give things so generously has been lost. We used to do it throughout almost all of human civilization. Now? We are so in debt financially between consumer, medical, and educational debt that we don’t want to be in debt socially. The thinking is, “I don’t want others to think I need them.” Which really is an exercise in vulnerability. We should be checking ourselves and asking ourselves, when was the last time we received a gift and didn’t feel the need to pay it back?

Gift giving brings us closer together.

What we choose to give our attention to, the recipient is saying they will be a distraction.

Nothing wrong with this. We all do it.

But we can’t have a constant distraction, no matter how hard we try. We make it easier with phones today.

Sometimes, however, we need to sit with our feelings. Only then can we truly learn ourselves.

As a culture, we can do a better job defending romanticism of life. All the wonderful things we can foster from relationships, experiences, destinations, whatever. This is different from fantasy. The unrealistic expectations that life is without adversity and that someone is there with a magic wand to fix everything. We can train this generation to be resilient and to see the love that life has to offer. Too often, we are quick to squash this in order to prepare the youth for industrialism.

When you have nothing left to lose you’re in highest level of entropy.

Which means the highest level of possibility what could happen next.

You never know what is going to happen next.

The goal when taking any risk is obviously not to die. We could choose to stay home to achieve this though. The real goal is then to be alive. That’s why we take risks.

Death is obviously final. The end of the arc. But when telling pieces we can choose where to stop in the story. For instance, we can tell a story about how the boss took advantage of you and you could stop where they slapped you with TPS reports. Or you can keep going to when you got home, relaxed, played with your kids, and how you feel better now that it’s all over.

Choosing when to stop gives it a better chance for a happy ending.

When we are driving, we feel in control and are responsible for what happens next.

The back seat must surrender this agency.

So, when things don’t go your way, it is easy to criticize.

Too much criticism, then the question is, Why are you not driving then?

(Obviously, I am not talking about cars. When the boss is doing things you don’t like, well, why are you following them then?)

The thing that happens when we don’t see an obvious path forward is the tension that grows when not moving in a direction, sort of like standing in line at Disneyland. The way it is designed is to always be moving. And if you’re stuck, you are not standing still too long. We get anxious when we are not moving, even when we are not going anywhere. The trick is to see what is happening and sit with the tension this creates. You can’t always be on a path forward, and you can find peace when sitting still.