Month: August 2023

Parrots repeat what you are saying mechanically without much thought.

People, on the other hand, believe we are separate from parrots because of our brains.

But what we learn is that more often than not, we are echoes of everyone that has come before us.

We are not as original thought thinkers as we think.

Instead, we must be cognizant of the words we choose.

Are we saying something because we actually believe it or are we saying things that people want to hear?

Boundaries are not something most of us are taught at an early age.

We want to please people in our lives in a position of authority like a parent or teacher, and so we comply without question.

When you get older and begin to come into your own, you realize you don’t need to make decisions just to please the people around you.

So, you begin to put up a fence.

Now the tricky part is you can’t put up barriers so tall that you don’t let anyone in. But people will not always be respectful of the spaces you carve either.

Something to think about.

When we created walls, we insulate ourselves from the elements.

When we created jobs, we started telling ourselves that nature was a place to visit.

The lie we have been sold is that we think we can operate outside the ecosystem. We are above the animals, the trees and the mountains. We thought we were the gods.

That isn’t how ecosystems work though. When we are symbiotic then we can be at peace with the world. It won’t spit us out.

When we feel entitled, we are hoping to get something for nothing.

Instead, when we give something our all, then we are opening the door for something more to come in.

We have enough room to receive something once we give something else away.

In the folklore of Spain, it means ecstasy. Even deeper than passion. Some say it is like having a muse. But in reality, we are talking about flow. Being connected to the point of losing yourself. Evoking strong emotions to the art we are creating.

Of course, there are more words and labels we use in our language that limit our search for power. Some are passive and loaded but the left brain has a hard time differentiating from the literalness. Success feels like a good word to use but it is also limiting. Failure is another. Because regardless of the outcome, effort was exerted and something can be learned from that experience. Good and Bad are sparing because of the way we measure and label people and situations. Words like these don’t do a good enough job of describing the situation. What is good or bad about it anyway? And if you learned something why is that such a negative outcome? 

We must learn to use the kind of language that opens doors of possibility. When we have to do something, we are likely to drag our feet and not give it our all, setting ourselves up for failure in the process. We can also use the same situation and say, we get to do something—even if that thing is not what we want to do now. It is difficult to unlearn what we have learned. Even the word Try is loaded. Master Yoda preached on the screen as kids, “No, try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” Fortunately, focusing on what we are saying and how we carry ourselves can change how we see the world. 

Every act can be deliberate. We are so quick to cast ourselves as the role of a victim, we also forget we can choose to be something else too. 

Resolution derives from the Latin word resolvere which means to loosen, undo, or settle. We write down or say out loud the things that conflict with our lives and we want to resolve. Why carry around so much conflict? Why start the year with so much undone? Wouldn’t it be better to start the year with none? We procrastinate the decision to walk the path of a warrior because it is the easiest to justify. Of course, you couldn’t start that massive project that was going to save the world, how could you? You need more time/money/resources before you could begin something so big and so grand. And you wake up and this year we think everything is going to be different. We don’t find ourselves saying we are not going to do something great. Instead, we rationalize that we will begin tomorrow. But tomorrow, we do it again. On repeat. 

Forget your New Year’s Resolution. Two things to remember:

1. Every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around. You can decide right now, today that your life is going to be different. You are never without this opportunity or power to change everything. No one can take this away from you. No matter what has been said or done, you can change things. And if you are going to change things, you might as well change them for the better.
2. Go do the work. It’s amazing how much better you will feel once you put in the blood sweat, and tears in. 

Spilled milk is a mistake that can be fixed.

Yet, we overreact to these types of mistakes all the time.

Not because we don’t have domain knowledge, we just lack the willpower at that moment.

I can’t help but think about how hard it is for us to do the small stuff on a consistent basis.

We struggle as humans to do the day-in and day-out grind.

Not enough energy or time.

So, how can we ever tackle the big stuff?

The easiest answer I can think of:

Get more sleep.

Solving problems isn’t an obligation, it’s an opportunity.

We go about it the wrong way.

We want to word vomit all the things we have felt, seen and experienced.

None of that matters.

In fact, the truth may need to take a back seat.

With every difficult conversation, it has nothing to do with the information (because that can be easily disputed if we were objective).

Instead, the focus needs to be can you hold space long enough to make the other person feel safe.

If someone feels safe, then growth is now a possibility.

If something feels dangerous, there is no opportunity.

So much praise is given at the start.

So much focus is on the result.

And where real power lies is sticking out in the middle when no one cares anymore.