Month: June 2023

People want to control other people because they have a difficult time controlling their own lives.

People want to hate other people because deep down they hate themselves.

People want to have conflict because they walk around conflicted.

When we experience pain, the villain wants others to feel it too.

A hero, on the other hand, says, “I don’t want anyone else to experience this kind of pain ever again.”

And without the accolades or education or money or fame or status…

What is left?

Well, it took 2,600 blog posts to say this:

One day we all are going to die. It’s not if but when.

Most of us do a lot of work and stay really busy to ignore this fact.

Albert Camus has written extensively about the topic and why the answer isn’t to roll over but to revolt.

Another problem is so much of what we do is building towards a better tomorrow when all that is guaranteed is now. (This is also why it is so hard for humans to act in ways outside their own self-interest.)

Some people want to skip the process of creating meaning in their lives because of how much work is associated with it. To just be happy all the time. I think this is a mistake.

When we are optimistic in our approach, we are more likely to find something worth grabbing onto. When there is a pathway for hope, we can’t help but feel better. We also get to choose what and where to find meaning.

I often go back to this quote from Frederick Douglass when he was teaching slaves to read. “I taught them because it was the delight of my soul to be doing something that looked like the bettering the condition of my race.”

That’s the moment right there. When we find something so pure, so compelling, something to lose ourselves in—we discover meaning and just feel better.

This is it. This is what we got and one shot at it. And yeah, it is a struggle. As Camus has pointed out, even Sisyphus can find meaning when pushing a rock up a hill just to see it go down once he reaches the top. You just have to imagine him smiling on the way down.

It can feel exhausting to take responsibility. To have a trusted voice that others look to for directions.

And…

What a gift when someone has given you such trust.

If you are in the business of making change, it can be exhausting. But it’s also an opportunity. When we are open to making things better, we can’t help but be fueled by actions and work.

The simple solution might be a better night’s sleep but confronting burnout might also need a change in perspective.

Simply put, don’t be surprised when customers come in to make bank transactions while working as a bank teller.

You choose the problems you want to solve.

Perhaps it is because social media platforms do such a good job amplifying certain voices in our culture but it’s worth noting:

The end of the world is not the same as someone facing the end of their world.

It helps to understand the perspective of someone saying the sky is falling where they are coming from.

I’m 36 and have realized in the last couple of years that somewhere in your mid-30s you have to start saying goodbye to things in order to preserve what you have.

Not everything, of course. But when we walk away from certain activities, lifestyles, and relationships, it comes with a sense of loss when we realize you are not that person anymore.

But when you flip the script around and say, “This is what I do now and I’m going to fight to preserve that.” Well, you appreciate what you have even more. While it’s okay to mourn, you also don’t want to miss your 30s just cause you to miss your 20s.

36 is not that old. And I can already hear the crowds say, “Just wait until you turn 66.”

Each of us has a unique personality that makes us who we are. And with that, we develop an identity.

“Me.”

We are not as wired to think about the future or how our actions affect those around us. It takes insight, and thoughtfulness to see the world through this lens.

The default setting is to occupy space for ourselves. It’s also a choice to look around and ask, “Who needs my help today?”

Some people believe that the purpose of business is to enable humanity. And others believe that purpose of humanity is to enable business.

The people in the latter group are just wrong. And too much of our culture has bought into this idea that we can be happy if we buy more stuff. If you just do what you are told, you will get paid. Be a cog in a machine that wears you down.

We can all agree though, this isn’t what it means to be human. We don’t fill our cups with an another thing. Instead, we find meaning in connection, overcoming adversity, a story we tell…

Of course, we all want the money, the status, the title, the respect. But what we are searching for is meaning. And meaning doesn’t necessarily come from the things we often prioritize.

I guarantee the person who volunteers their time helping out their community is finding meaning in the work they do better than the person showing up for money.

Perhaps we need to examine, what is it we can give rather than what we are getting along the way.

You can choose to focus on what you have or what you don’t.

You can look back and see life fading, perhaps a healthy 20-year-old self doing back flips off the high dive, you can see the vigor or the carefree self smiling. Hakuna matada, right? And by choosing this path of regret you also miss the path you are on.

When we are intentionally focused on the way things are, you then learn to appreciate what you still have, what you can still offer, and what is too come.

So much goes over our head when we are not paying attention.